rhythm and bliss

Knock You Down

2009-03-24T13:55:00.003-04:00

Keri Hilson drops the video for 'Knock You Down' to coincide with the album release. Watchin Kanye and Ne-Yo fighting over Keri is like...it might be the funniest thing ever. The tension should have come to blows and then I could have given the whole thing 4 stars. But because that's missing I give it a 'meh'. As a fan of fuckery Kanye's appearance in anything is welcome from me but aside from that and Ne-Yo's face, not a whole lot going on. I did peep her MJ move at Ye's line but she didn't even act out Joe Jackson's part. Now be fair, Keri!

In A Perfect World

2009-03-24T01:00:00.003-04:00

After producing hits for an endless list of pop and R&B artists, songwriter and Clutch production team graduate, Keri Hilson's album In A Perfect World will be in stores soon. I've been trying to give myself a little bit of time to let it sink in instead of making a snap judgment because a snap judgment on this from me may not have given her her due. Keri is a talented singer and writer but her voice falls into a range where it isn't immediately interesting like some other popular R&B singers out at the moment. It isn't soulful and pleading like Jazmine Sullivan's, or taunting and bizzare like Rihanna's...I could go on but the reality is that on first listen her voice is almost boring and it tends to get lost in her precision beats. Like it's an album full of great songs that sound like they were recorded for other artists to select and re-record. However, you simply can't deny the production of the music and thankfully she has guests to fill out the roster so I find myself nodding along. So it's okay Keri, I forgive you.

The Breakdown

Intro - She reps her state, city, click The Clutch, and body. It's the same kinda shit talkin, slick talkin that got her in trouble with Beyonce and Ciara, allegedly. But it sounds nice.

Turnin Me On - The single that I hear 8 times a day at work. I'm sick of it but I guess that's just an indicator of success. Lil Wayne babbles at the end of it also but i'm not surprised to hear him anywhere. I become alarmed when I don't hear Weezy on a track, I wonder what happened and whether he's sick.

Set Your Money Up - It's nice to hear Keyshia Cole talkin slick on a fast track and Trina's on it too but this pretty much sounds like a gold diggers anthem. "We don't like them broke boys, we don't like them broke boys!"

Return the Favor - The melody reminds me of Timbaland and Keri's 'The Way I Are"...Timbo's also on the track and the two of them talkin about sexin each other is not my favorite thing at all.

Knock You Down - Great pop song. Yeezy and Ne-Yo really fill out the track and it sounds good and feels good. Kanye's back doing what made him a star...talkin bout Michael Jackson's crazy ass.

Slow Dance - Sexy, synth track. It sounds like something I would absolutely love to hear Tweet sing on but Keri does it justice.

Make Love - Whenever I hear this vocal arrangement I think 4 NonBlondes 'What's Up" But barring that (or because of it), I think it's a decent song. She manages to do this thing with her voice that gives it a raspy quality. It's still clean but this is one of the better vocalizations on the album. Kanye was obviously in the video to upset everyone.

Intuition - This track is about assuming your man ain't shit from before you get in the relationship. Even though I don't condone that way of thinking it's pretty relate-able and listenable. It uses eastern instruments and sounds like the things Timbo and Missy used to do three or four albums back but warmed over. Remember them days? Good times.

How Does it Feel? - Come to find out she was right about dude and this song is about tellin him she can leave. It's also a hit, but kind of repetitive. Production is nothing new but its executed well, steady drums, triumphant horns, Polow tha Don, etc.

Alienated - Awesome song. It has a delicate strange, futuristic, quality which is spot on for a song about feeling alone and alienated. Feels like cruising through bizzare, lifeless landscapes in a spaceship. So when you hear 'You're the reason I don't change my number/ want you to know it's still the same.." you feel the longing. There's pleading, reaching, feeling. This is one of the best on the album.

Tell Him The Truth - Slow somber song about having to confess a secret but not wanting to. The beat is simple, synth guitar over slow rhythmic drum beats and clicks with a repetitious hook. But, she recognizes the negative space is an opportunity to stretch the vocal chords and she does.

Change Me - That song that sounds like that other song and it has Akon on it like every other song on the radio. It's not bad but it's just not interesting and listening to Akon doing his best Seal impression and sounding like Wyclef is just not something I would prefer to subject myself to.

Energy - Another dope song. You've heard the single. And seen the sexy ass video (I gotta get cut like that one day).

Where Did He Go? - Warm synths and vocal layering that makes a pretty song about getting over a break up.

Keri does a damn good job with this album. It's not good enough to warrant her making diss tracks about anybody really but I suppose she eventually remembered that and corrected herself. I don't see her becoming a close to my heart favorite of mine like the Wino but this is a solid album with, as expected, excellent production. Even the throwaways could be singles for more popular artists and we'd have to listen to them at the club and on the way too and from everywhere on earth unless we turn off the car radio. Anyways, you should go check it out.

Love and Sex and Magic

2009-03-23T14:14:00.004-04:00

Ciara feat. Justin Timberlake - Love Sex Magic

So this highly anticipated Ciara and JT video has dropped. I don't know if the star power is what created the anticipation but from the looks of this silly ass 60 second trailer I knew that fuckery was in store. I never really found Justin Timberlake to be able to convey sexy that well but if he can have half a chance at faking it, it's at the hands of a sexpot energy from his co star. Ciara is pullin out the stops but she ends up lookin like the stripper with no ass at the club, workin her little heart out for your dollars. Please Mister, have a heart. All the ropes and heels and fishnets are just not bringing the sexy. But I do give Ciara a gold star for trying, and for looking damn good while trying. But let's face it Promise was the sexiest video that I've seen from her and she was in sweatpants. Stop forcing it people! Let it move through you...niiiice and sloooww..mmm, thats it...
Anyway back to the song itself. The video does help me stomach the song a bit because it basically sounds like a track that J Lo would have stole from Christina Milian back in the day and then decide not to use anyway. But in all I don't know how I feel about this direction. I hate it when artists twist themselves into bizzare situations, I'm all for evolution but it ought to be a natural evolution. Ciara is sexier doing the stanky-leg with Snoop Dogg than she is in bondage gear and selling ass in heels. But it's a recession so I can feel her, just not the music.

I Like Sex and I'm Good At It

2009-03-12T00:57:00.004-04:00

The irascible John Mayer and his foray into hip-hop.
Source via the internet

Do you believe him?

Lil Wayne - Prom Queen

2009-03-04T11:01:00.002-05:00

Prom Queen

So the video for Lil' Wayne's 'Prom Queen' premiered recently and I found it a lot easier to watch when I left the sound off. This song is one of Weezy's latest "eclectic" efforts and I really can't do it with him this round. But I also know that there are lots of things I can't fucking stand that get inexplicable love from the masses and this I presume shall be no different.

Thoughts
- O Hai Thar! Is that Ms. Katrina LaVerne?
- The moshpit scene is the most staged and confused moshpit scene I have ever observed. Hannah Montana and them can go harder than that!
- I never see this many black women in rock videos. I'll tentatively drop that in the positive box for safe keeping.
- Ron Howard passed on the cameo because the set was not trill enough for his liking.

2009 Oscars

2009-02-22T18:11:00.029-05:00

I'm sure you know the drill. Tonight is the Academy's 51st Motion Picture Awards Ceremony and I will be liveblogging it. Check back during the show and/or follow me on twitter.

8:29 - Sippity sip sip.
8:30 - SHOW STARTS. A brilliant crystal set design. It's got old world glam and I love that stuff
8:31 - Hugh Jackman takes the stage.
8:32 - He takes a dig at New Zealand. Ouch, can't you guys get along?
8:33 - Now he's performing a music number...I'm gonna throw my remote somewhere with my eyes closed so that I don't change the channel.
8:34 - He busted an ill move with the "Craigslist?" dancers
8:35 - Performing Frost/Nixon with Anne Hathaway
8:36 - Now he's a performing a hot ass mess with some people in silver suits
8:40 - Hugh's gonna be a decent host. he's quite the showman
8:43 - Tilda Swinton looks alien and sexy.
8:44 - Whoopi's dress says 'So you want me to wear a dress huh? I'll show you a dress alright, i'm gonna wear some bullshit, and ima wear it to the Oscars."
8:47 - The Best Supporting Actress goes to Penelope Cruz. She looks kinda platinum quincenera but she actually looks great
8:52 - Tina Fey and Steve Martin take the stage in a comedy bit. "to write is to live forever, the man who wrote that is dead." Then they take a dig at Scientology.
8:57 - Dustin Lance Black wins the Best Screenplay award for 'Milk' gives a pretty equal rights speech.
8:59 - Best Adapted Screenplay goes to Simon Beufoy for Slumdog Millionaire. I didn't love this movie but I didn't see the other ones so maybe it deserved it. Good for him/them/everyone/whatever
9:02 - Jack Black and Jen Aniston present the nominees for Best Animated Feature. Jack Black's muggung is amusing/tolerable but the montage makes zero sense. Camera cuts away to Angelina who giggles knowingly.
9:06 - Wall-E wins it.
9:08 - The Best Animated Short award goes to a polite asian man who says Sank You like a dozen times and then ends w Domo Arigato and scurries of stage. I laugh because I am culturally deficient in many ways.
9:15 - Daniel Graig's sexy ass saunters onstage with Sarah Jessica Parker whose dress I hate. They present nominees for Best Art Direction.
9:17 - Goes to Benjamin Button..yawning
9:31 - Okay Natalie Portman takes the stage and Ben Stiller comes out doin a disheveled insane Joaquin Phoenix impression complete w beard and sunglasses. Natalie kills him and says "you look like you work at a Hassidic meth lab"
9:35 - Slumdog takes it for best cinematography
9:39 - Jessica Biel comes out lookin like she rolled out of bed,wrapped the silksheets around her toga style and pulled her hair back. She presents some technical award and proceeds to bore the sht outta me with a category that would be interesting had it been presented on the Discovery Channel
9:41 - A commercial airs for what looks like a hilarious tragedy starring Jamie Foxx as an insane musician
9:42 - Seth Rogen and James Franco reprise their Pineapple Express roles and remind me how I should be watching this award show. High as shit! This interlude is pretty funny, Franco kinda confuses Robert Downey Jr. for Barack Obama
9:47 - Oscar goes to some folks with thoroughly unpronounceable names, Seth and Franco Present the award and giggle at the names like school children. I love it.
9:52 - Hugh comes back go do another fancy dandy musical number. Then he's joined by Beyonce in a red sequin Shug Avery getup. They perform some musical numbers while my blood pressure rises.
9:56 - The HighSchool Musical kids join them and I will never forgive the Academy.
10:04 - Cuba is trying to bu funny... embarassing himself though.
10:06 - Ledger gets the Oscar for the Joker. Amazing performance. He totally deserved it, His performance was amazing
10:09 - His family accepts the award for him and gives a polite and moving speech honoring his memory. It's nice.
10:13 - Documentary montage pops on screen, this dude with the most unruly set of teeth i've seen in some time says something. I lol.
10:14 - Bill Mahr plugs Religulous and the award goes to Man on a Wire, this little frenchman is adorable, and then he balances the Oscar on his face! *clapping*
10:25 - Will Smith comes onstage to present for Outstanding Visual Effects...tries to be funny...fading
10:26 - All the action movies get shtted on and it goes to Benjamin Button...yay
10:30 - Nominees for soundmixing are...Oscar goes to Slumdog...
10:35 - Nominees for editing are...Oscar goes to Slumdog...headache again, tired..will smith acknowledges he is inexplicably still on stage tryna make this borin sht sound interesting
10:40 - I QUIT THIS BITCH. Gonna lay down I can't make it through. Sorry people but if you are watching this then you have my sympathy.

So Far Gone

2009-02-18T19:12:00.004-05:00

I might as well touch down to let y'all know what's been rocking my world lately. So Far Gone is the latest mixtape from Drake, the Canadian rapper of Degrassi fame. Well, I'm something of a long time listener first time caller. I've enjoyed his style for a while but I never really spoke about him, because no one else (that I know) really seemed to know or care who he was but with the positive buzz surrounding his latest effort I'm comfortable enough to lean over to you and tell you with confidence that if you don't know, you need to ask somebody. As is customary with mixtapes 'Drizzy' rides over a lot of other artists beats but he's done a great job of making each track his own and not just sounding like noise over a great instrumental. He, for instance, remixes Lykke Li's 'Little Bit' and adds his own dimension to the already haunting sort-of love song. He also beasts through Santogold's 'Unstoppable' again, making you wonder how he wasn't already on the track in the first place. This mixtape is great winter music, which is something I've been on the hunt for lately. Live, but not too exuberant. Just haunting hymns and heavy shit that you can drive through dusky snow covered landscapes to. 808's type shit. 'Successful' featuring Lil Wayne and Trey Songz is the track that I would say exemplifies that.
'Drizzy' isn't a gangster and he mostly raps about his actual current life as a pseudo celebrity and yet he is lyrically compelling. I'm willing to venture that the only time he's seen shots fired was that very special episode of Degrassi when he became a cripple but hey, it's only entertainment. I would say that this mixtape has been getting attention not simply because it shows that he can rap, but that he can make an album of listenable songs. I know it's great to be able to 'spit hot fiyah' but it's pretty annoying when your favorite mixtape rapper has no concept of bridges and arrangement and just barrels down each track as if the beats were irrelevant. Do you even like music or do you just like to rap? Enough of my ranting just cop this shit.

Drake - So Far Gone

Next Selection

2009-02-12T22:37:00.003-05:00

Ryan Leslie - Ryan Leslie

With all the recent talk about the young prince of R&B getting slap happy and stupidly ruining his career over teenage drama there's still a lot of sympathy for the young boy. I can admit I get a sinking feeling whenever I see the young, Black and talented take a downward spiral, regardless of whose at fault. But, to the left I say, to the left. There's other talented cats out there who can't quite dance but who are better musicians and just as light skinned (I'm not saying it matters but whatever helps), they just may be lacking a bit in the charm department. Enter R. Les. The Nerd. A Weirdo. He's incredibly talented and incredibly slept on. I've discussed how his social skills or lack thereof may be holding him back but most likely forces greater than that (Diddy) are the reason this boy has had limited success because quite frankly the entertainment business is supposed to be a refuge for social deviants and he certainly isn't the first of them …or the most repulsive.

This brings me to Ryan Leslie's self titled album, the follow up to the 2005 release, Just Right which apparently never reached stateside. The album has all the innovative funk balanced at just the right hit-making tempo's that we've come to expect from R. Les. He makes music that suits his nasal vocals and even when he raps you don't quite cringe as much as you thought you would. Clever and self deprecating lines like "If my record don't sell, we'll still go diamond" only endear me to Mr. Leslie further. His album has an electric mellow sound that calls upon his skills as a producer. The tracks don't ever exceed the almost spastic energy of 'Diamond Girl' nor do they sink lower than the sparing synth intensity of Addiction but this isn't a criticism, he simply has an even center he remains in for most of the album. He utilizes the electric guitars on 'Quicksand' and any number of sound FX kits on the track and croons about some pretty girl that he's pining after yet again, but it's really one of my favorite joints on the album in spite of his rhyming emotional with emotional over and over again. You can actually listen to the whole album through and not really be conscious of anything he's said. It's not that his lyrics are awful, they just aren't really important. Leslie seems to layer the vocals over the track as if they were any other instrument, using whatever words sound right. As if to make a point about the irrelevance of the lyrics in his song making process he includes a track titled ' Gibberish' where he basically talks out of his ass about 'lust' 'love' and 'moonlight' and 'ghosts?' There really aren't any words and yes I sat there like an ass for 1:12 trying to figure out if he actually was saying something relevant, but he wasn't. The point is the track was aight in spite of that and I'll give him his props for that, and for tricking me. Honestly, I could attempt to describe how there's comfort in the complexity and the simplicity of the music of R. Les but you really should just cop the album.

Favorite Tracks

Diamond Girl, Addiction, Quicksand

Bonus:

Valentine

It's a Thief In The Night To Come and Grab You

2009-02-12T19:26:00.004-05:00

What the fuck?

...Yeah, it's been a few days and that's all I got left. I'm not picking sides and I'm not calling him a monster or saying she provoked him but I will say whatever it was, was it really worth it? The night before the Grammy's of all nights? Not that it's appropriate at any time but just the sheer ease with which some folks can see fit to throw their lives away is nothing if not disturbing. These dumb assed kids are our future, America! It would be awesome if they knew that violence isn't an appropriate response to whatever relationship conflicts they may be having.

Some links and gossip and information on the saga...cause I damn sure ain't a source.

Pop Culture Fix

Necole Bitchie

Grammy Awards 2009

2009-02-08T20:01:00.057-05:00

Here we go again. It's the 51st annual Grammy Awards and i'm going to liveblog it. Mostly because that's the only way I can sit and watch the whole thing. I'm going to be drinking tonight. Which was my mistake last time I tried to liveblog. I was stone sober. Big Mistake. But let's go...As we proceed!

8:01 - U2 doin their U2 sht. I wanna like then more than I do but only some of their songs are jams to me. Maybe I lack culture.
8:03 - However this 'let me in the sound' breakdown is kinda dope. This song might be winning me over.
8:04 - Whitney looks ...she looks pretty good considering. Still sounds crazy.
8:06 - Awwe, it seems like Whitney's lost her voice. I heard that show she did a few months back where she sounded a mess but I was hoping it wasn't permanent.
8:07 - J. Hud accepts the award for best R&B. I think i'm gonna tear up with her on this one. I love her.
8:08 - Duane Johnson..remember when he was the Rock? Also..remember when he was too sexy for words? Now he's treading in Shemar Moore territory.
8:10 - Justin Timberlake is on already, filling in for Chris Brown's assault and battery punk ass. Yeesh, the day before the Grammy's Chris? You couldn't wait? Let me stop. That type of sht is never appropriate. I knew somethin was wrong with him...remember??
8:21 - Mmm Simon Baker. introducing Coldplay performing Lost! which is a pretty hot banger from Coldplay of all people.
8:23 - Aaannd they proceed to destroy any love for this song I had while on stage. Jay puts on this dumb drunk flow that only sounded hot under the congo drums and guitar production of the album recording.
8:25 - Their performing the Ipod commercial song. It sounds good but the performance looks mad goofy.
8:28 - I kinda like Carrie Underwood's white trash steez even if its made up. Her getup is kinda Mad Max though, and not in a good way.
8:32 - Sheryl Crow and Leanne Rhimes. I like Leeanne's dress but thas the only positive thing I'll say right about now. I only ever think about Country music when watching the Grammy's and then I remind myself to listen to it more and forget again. Maybe next year.
8:42 - Wow Al Green again. He ain't even know he was going on stage tonight
8:42 - Coldplay wins for Viva La Vida. They gon let purple coat talk. He acknowledges the Sgt. Pepper look. Thank the Lord for the self aware
8:45 - Kid Rock takes the stage...I don't know how he's still around. That 'Sweet Home Alabama' riff moves units though. It sells records, pizza, KFC. You can't beat it.
8:54 - the Cyrus is on with Taylor Swift. This is cute cause I don't think I could deal with Miley on her own.
8:58 - The two least known people in the running win it. I knew it! I'm happy for them though. I hope they get off the stage in a timely manner.
9:00 - Jennifer Hudson takes the stage, acapella at that. She looks very nice in this sequined black dress. Her wig is wiggy though, but we're not gonna talk about that because her vocals are killing it.
9:09 - This lady just compare the Jonas Brothers to Cain and Abel. Aaaaallriight.
9:10 - Why do they get to perform with Stevie Wonder? This is my jam though I must admit. I guess this is my punishment for being an Nsync fan back in the day..
9:12 - This must be mashup night. They are performing superstitious..they all sound constipated. I can't tell if Stevie is constipated as well or making fun of them. Probably both..
9:15 - Wow time warp, Blink 182 comes back on stage to announce they're getting back together. They get points for mocking the fuckery that was just onstage.
9:16 - Coldplay gets the award. called themselves a limestone rockband...wock wocka...
9:23 - Craig Ferguson is funny tonight. But I will never forgive him for seguing to Katy Perry. I'm not a fan.
9:26 - She's finally off the stage and now its Kaye and Estelle and Ye's fro mullet. This performance looks cheap and tacky and underproduced. Shiny suits on a red circle. The recession is really getting to people. "Look at this pea coat tell me he's broke" BROKE!
9:29 - Then they gotta turn around and present the next award for best New Artist. Yayy Adele won. I dig her but I was rooting for Jasmine. She's got one of those working class Brit accents like some of my fam (we international, yo!)
9:36 - Morgan Freeman takes the stage. Now theres a man that knows how to put his shoe on a woman and get away with it. That wasnt tasteful at all but I won't delete it.
9:39 - Kenny Chesney...taking a big sip out my cup right now.
9:40 - Diddy does not give a shit. White tee, shiny shirt, sad gold chain. He looks like he's dressed to get the laundry.
9:41 - Robert Plant and them is winnin again, just to piss everyone off i'm sure.
9:48 - Gueen Latifah looks sexy tonight. Blinking at this segue from the Rat Pack to the Rap Pack
9:50 - Wowww at M.I.A. being gigantic in a polkadot bathing suit. This black and white filter is killing me though. FAIL!!
9:54 - Kate Beckinsale saying something...introduces Sir Paul McCartney who won't go away for some reason.
10:04 - Jack Black ...we've reached MTV VMA award status. Jazz musician Hank Jones gets a Lifetime Achievement Award
10:05 - John Mayer gets the award. Talks short and fast, but he has anxiety issues so he gets a pass. The Grammy's nominated Kid Rock for some reason.
10:07 - LL Cool J and Jay Mohr come out together cause they both got J's in their names. Jay proceeds to amuse himself and no one else.
10:07 - Sugarland and Adele take the stage. Performing a song about being the 'other woman' I love those kinds of songs. I like anything that explores the complications of love.
10:11 - Adele takes the stage. Repping for white Team Chunk in a positive way. Finally a representative that isn't a horrid mess. w00t! Also the two sounded beautiful. I gotta look into Sugarland.
10:19 - Gwyneth Bland Paltrow introduces Radiohead who apparently are still on some other shit. I enjoy when they are on some other shit. Listening.
10:22 - Radiohead is rockin the shit tonight. I love it.
10:28 - Samuel L. Jackson takes the stage in his Do the Right thing steez and starts yelling at the audience immediately.
10:29 - T.I. and Justin Timberlake take the stage. Meh.
10:33 - Wolf Blitzers hippie brother takes the stage and mentions that Obama won two Grammy's. GoBama.
10:37 - Now he reveals hes just kissing Obama's nuts to get a Secretary of the Arts position instated in the White House. Politricks.
10:38 - Sweet sweet Smokey Robinson takes the stage to give the Four Tops the Lifetime Achievement award.
10:39 - Fake Four Tops come out consisting of the remaining member, Smokey, Jamie Foxx, and Ne-Yo. This is my song and they not ruinin it.
10:47 - Josh Groban comes on..thank God he's not singing tv show theme songs again. Introduces Neil Diamand
10:48 - Neil Diamond looks better than he did the last time I seent him. My mother is somewhere throwin her panties at the tv.
10:55- My bad I tuned out for a bit there. They did the Memoriam dead faces reel. Then BB King and John Mayer performed a tribute to Bo Diddley
11:02 - Gary Sinese ...still looks like a robot clone. He's about to introduce Weezy and Robin Thicke and friends
11:03 - They doin 'Tie My Hands'.
11:07 - They follow it up by bringing out some New Orleans greats. Well performed and well orchestrated. A thousand brownie points to Weezy
11:09 - T. pain and Will.I.Am present the nominees for best rap album. Embarrass themselves.
11:10 - Lil Wayne done won his ass a Grammy award.
11:10 - There's a good boy. Keep it simple. His family looks nice.
11:18 - Blah blah blah Zoe Deschanel..so that's how you pronounce her name.
11:18 - Robert Plant and 'em are performing. Let's hear if this is actually what it is and nobody knew. This song would go well with a nervous breakdown and some LSD.
11:23 - Green Day shows up promising tobring sweet release in the form of the final Grammy and the end of the show.
11:24 - HA! Grammy of the year goes to Robert Plant and friends. Well hell. Goodnight everybody.
11:27 - Stevie gets on again to close the show down.

Later kiddies, i'm gonna go get housed!

Na na na na

2009-01-19T20:09:00.006-05:00

Na na na na, HEY HEY HEY GOODBYYEEE

Goodbye Mr. Bush
Bush goes away from the White House... Tell him goodbye YOUR WAY (throwing boots, eggs, daisies or candies) This is a multi-highscore and cumulative-score game!

I'm not gonna lie...even I feel bad for this guy. BUT ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME!! Get in yo' choppa and GTFOH!
I think this game is a positive way to blow off some steam, and hey, maybe if the shoe thrower would've had this game he wouldn't have acted an ass (awesomely) and done what he none did. Lemme know your high score and object of choice.

Notorious

2009-01-17T04:58:00.007-05:00

I went to the theatre last night to see the Biggie biopic 'Notorious'. I know I could have peeped a bootleg of it like a week ago but as schmaltzy as it sounds I figured if I was gonna watch this flick at all it was going to have to be in a crowd so that the added benefit of the community experience might make up for whatever the film lacks (and I thought it would lack a lot). A part of me wanted to go to a late showing of this in the hood but that same part of me didn't want to get shot in the name of authenticity and as of the New Year I had deleted most of my hood affiliates and tour guides from my phonebook. In reality I still wouldn't feel safe unless me and Clint Eastwood rolled up on the block in his Gran Torino so I don't even know what I was thinking about with that. I actually ended up in a showing in the 'burbs where my friend and I had to show I.D. to signify that we were 'guardians' to some underaged niglets and accompany them into the theatre just so they could see the film. I scoffed at all the extra regulations but, a half hour into the movie I and most of the audience felt like we weren't old enough to be watching what we were watching either. All I'll say is Naturi Naughton was really puttin her all into that role....and that she got some tittays on her. BTW I am not especially opposed to nudity on film but this movie made me realize that there's something really eerie about watching some porno on a big screen in a room full of strangers.

To get the complaints out of the way, its pretty plain that Diddy had his hands on this film a little too much. Almost every profound thing Big says and does in this film was inspired by, or was a suggestion from Puffy (Derek Luke). He, Voletta (Angela Bassett), and Faith Evans (Antonique Smith) appear to have no flaws and I'm sure their live counterparts working behind the scenes with the director had more than a little bit to do with that. However, that's probably for the best because it helps us focus on the main character's performance. Jamal Woolard does a great job as Biggie, encompassing the laidback bravado that we all grew up with as well as the vulnerabilities that we suspected but never really got to see. And despite my complaints about Puff's onscreen fairy godmother status Luke does surprisingly well in translating the fun and obnoxiousness of Sean Combs without channeling too much of the actual Sean Combs. I'm thankful for this because the approximations of Puffy's silly ass dances are amusing but an authentic level of Diddy realism would surely force me from the theatre.

The roles that stole the show were Smith as Faith Evans and Naughton who played a nuanced and interesting Lil' Kim. I heard that Kim wasn't consulted for her portroyal in the film but her story is pretty compelling despite or possibly because of her absence behind the scenes, otherwise she might've gotten the boring saint treatment that the other characters got. Anthony Mackie as Tupac was creating a problem for me and his being cast is one of the films bigger flaws in my opinion. He's a decent actor but he wasn't channeling Pac in a way that made me go 'Oh snap. that's Pac!' which is really what these characters are supposed to do. Not to mention the way minds work, certain actors among certain environments invoke distracting memories. For instance while watching the 2Pac scenes my brain goes: rap movie + Anthonie Mackie = 8 Mile, and now every time he appears on screen I hear 'Now everybody from the 313 get ya motherfckn hands up and follow me!' He wasn't terrible or anything, and when he remembers to bug his eyes out he almost has you fooled but they should've went with an unknown on that one.
The director also decided to go with ambiguity and neutrality with regards to the details of Biggie's death. I agree that for the type of film this is (celebratory rather than expository) that was probably the best decision. But the vagueness of it made for some bizarre dialogue.

Actual Scene
*phone rings*
Biggie: Hello
Caller: Hey Nigga, you gon leave out here with a fuckin toetag on'. We gon fuckin kill you.
Biggie: Yo. who the fuck is this?
Caller: West Coast, nigga!
*dial tone*

What? Really? The 'West Coast' killed Big? Alright, whatever..moving on.

Going into it with generic to low expectations I was pleasantly surprised. It's a good movie. The cast really got into their roles and save a few exceptions it did what it was supposed to do. Tell B.I.G.'s story? Nah. I don't even think that's what it was supposed to do. You don't learn anything about Christopher Wallace that you didn't already know or presume, which in the grand scheme of things isn't all that much. But there's something emotionally satisfying about seeing glimpses of the stories behind the people who made the music you loved because it plays to your nostalgia. They could have included Kim getting an abortion after getting pregnant with Biggies child but who wants to think about depressing shit like that? We wanna recite the lyrics to the songs we can't help but know the lyrics to and feel proud of our generation for supporting an artist even in death to similar levels of iconic prestige that other generations support and mythologize their heroes (Elvis, anyone?). I'll admit that a really interesting biopic would be an authentic one, telling the sides of the story that we haven't heard or haven't heard enough of and cutting away the bullshit but I would rather see that as a documentary than a feature film. This film reminds me of a (possibly imaginary) time when we were young and rap was something you hid from your parents while you obsessed over it with your friends and older siblings. It reminds you of a time when hip hop was something you really cared about, when you were young enough to think all of the era's rap gossip and drama was really important and how you felt when you sadly realized it kind of was. Seeing it in a sold out theatre in a suburb also makes you realize how many people from all kinds of backgrounds cared about all of that stuff the same way you did. It is by no means perfect but when you hear 'Hypnotize' boom through theatre speakers at the final scene of the movie you must admit it did what it was supposed to do. In apreciation, we as an audience greeted the credits with a round of applause for the movie, for hip hop and for B.I.G. and I for one thought that was pretty dope.

Some Ad Nonsense

2009-01-17T04:22:00.003-05:00

Skittles: Reflect The Rainbow

Here's something that you may not have known about me (or cared) but I enjoy advertisements. This is one of my new favorite ones. A white guy is at a Thai tailor getting his suit fitted. It's some alternate reality (as all skittles commercials are) where instead of your own reflection men of various races and ethnicity's mimic your every move in the reflection of the mirror. In this case there's a black guy a Mexican guy and a Filipino guy. The Black guy and the Mexican are both doing their jobs (Oh ho!) but the Filipino guy notices some skittles in his jacket and starts to eat them instead of reflecting the non skittles eating white guy. The white guy complains about it to the tailor who begins to chew this Filipino guy out. Dude gets pissed and kicks in his own reflection as a way of saying 'fuck you, I quit!' I like this ad more the more I watch it, because in it's way the whole reflect the rainbow theme is somehow a nod to diversity (why should your reflection be white too, can't you give that job to a Mexican? Welcome to post-racial America!) But it's also insane in a way that I really enjoy. I liked it even before I knew what the hell they were saying but a little research clarified that their conversation was as follows:

Tailor : Hey, Don't eat while you're working
Filipino guy: But i'm hungry
Tailor: No eating at work, you lazy bum!
Filipino guy: I'm hungry so I'm gonna eat
*insane asian arguing and swearing*
Filipino guy: Motherfucker, I'll do what I want
*kicks glass - mirror shatters - I laugh my ass off*

The craziest commercials come out of Thailand. Here's another one that I really liked. It reminded me of all the island ghost stories I used to hear when I was younger.

Sylvania Light Bulb Ad

2009 Golden Globes

2009-01-11T20:00:00.038-05:00

Well, i'm sure you have noticed this but I have been M.I.A. for a while. My bad. Just to force myself back into the swing of posting my thoughts i'm going to attempt to liveblog the Golden Globes. Wish me luck

8:01 - J.Lo comes out..mic malfuntion already.
8:02 - J.Lo's makeup is pretty good, nice and clean but idk about the rest of her dress, maybe I need a better look
8:03 - got a better look. No ty.
8:04 - Kate Winslet wins, she looks good, and i like her for some reason..hmm. But she's talkin to long already
8:06 - Sting? Why with the grizzly beard? And yet maintains glimpses of the sexy..how does he do that?
8:08 - JERSEY STAND UP! Haha, yeah I had to claim a regional victory today after the Giants lost...womp womp wooomp. :(
8:09 - Clint Eastwood will take you out back and beat you with a stick
8:10 - I love that Bruce and his wife have matching noses and that he called her strong. I love that type of shit, like really love.
8:14 - Simon Baker is still sexy. Remember Something New? That was the official 'let's investigate this swirl thing' movie.
8: 15 - Awwe look at Tom Wilkinson not knowin when to wave. Awwe and he wins.
8: 17 - I love Tom Wilkinson. Wtf was that? hahaha He forgot everyones name, like 'wutevs, Thanks, but I didn't ask you wankers to pick me'
8:25 - My heart just broke. Sexy ass Don Cheadle is in 'Hotel For Dogs'? Why does he look like that. Like a pirate, with the two earings.
8:27 - Eva Mendez is dumb sexy, especially tonite. That jewelry! swoon, and she's all about la Raza...lol well it's not my Raza but cultural empowerment is always a good thing to me
8:29 - Zac Efron doesn't do it for me but this is the most masculine I've seen him..ever. i thought it was Jared Leto
8:30 - 'Not here to talk Trek'..then why are y'all here, who are you guys?
8:31 - Awwe Anna Paquin wins it. Yay! She's like one of the few actresses that looks like a regular person, it's refreshing to me. I still dunno if i'm feelin the blonde though..
8:37 - "thats the last time I have sex with 200 middle aged journalists' O h Ricky Gervais
8:39 - Jonas Brothers?? I will never understand. Is that how everyone felt about NSYNC back when I and other teenyboppers was all on their nuts?
8:42 - Johnny Depp has on his pervert scraggle moustache again. I do not like it. And he looks tired. :(
8:46 - Wheres Savion Glover? or Sandman Simms, they need to hire them to come out w the cane and drag folks off stage.
8:52 - Jakey Gyllenhaal presents a Benjamin Button commercial
8:53 - Drew Barrymore and Sharon Stone? giggle like fools
8:54 - "Ants can't even understand what a giant's talkin about!'. look at Diddy tryna look humble. sweet.
8:57 - Tom Cruise blathers like an insane person. My bad Hanks, Tom Hanks woww
8:57 - Cute moment with Demi and Rumer, who actually doesnt look frightening tonite
8:59 - Heath Ledger *tear*
9:05 - *sigh* I'm starting to tire of this. Yayyy Frost/Nixon...w00t....
9:06 - Thank you Colin Farell, that was a stupid thing for them to ask you to say. And you actually look clean tinite, double kudos. Also kudos for tryna play it off like you don't do coke no more.
9:19 - SETH ROGEN IS TOOO SEXY
9:22 - Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock, thats a dope show. Awwe his daughter's name is Ireland. That's cute, and ghetto. Whites are not exempt.
9:28 - S. Epatha is sellin pens?
9:28 - Cot Damn! Wtf is goin on w Renee Zellweger? SWhe almost never looks good but tonight she looks like she flapped out of a cave.
9:30 - It's Baby Wipes!
9:32 - Paul Giammati is such a little hobbit. EEw did you see Marc Antony creepily rubbin down J.Lo's shoulders? Jeepers
9:34 - That 30 Rock episode was too funny
9:36 - LMAO at Tracy Morgan announcing himself as the representative for 30 Rock and the face of post-racial America, then proceeding to embarass all of us immensly. You have my heart.
9:47 - Ugly Betty looks really nice tonight.
9:53 - Lol at this commercial trying to sell me on this Spielberg show about multiple personalities...
9:54 - SMH at this other commercial trying to get me to buy lotto tickets
9:58 - w00t The Color Purple, Amistad...its dawning on me that I should have been high tonight.
10:13 - Now ole girl w Dustin Hoffman looks alright. Their schtic is cute..wow this Slumdog Millionnaire is stealin the show
10:16 - Sigourney Weaver is doin her thing for giant women, I like it.
10:18 - Grr at the award show for not showing Javier Barden
10:21 - "Curiousity is love, it's Ignorance's nemesis" an excerpt from Colin Farell's artsy fartsy poetic stream of consciousness speech
10:27 - Mmmm Selma Hayek, Viva Mexico
10:36 - This Indian actress is gorgeous.
10:37 - Cameron Diaz and Mark Wahlberg....they are bothering me.
10:40 - I never seen anyone so excited to win an award lmao awwe Kate
10:45 - ....This shit is still on!?
10:51 - I heard Mickey Rourke really wanted to win this one...and thas the last thing I heard about Mickey Rourke in some time
10:53 - WHOO 2 seconds of middle finger on national television!!
11:00 - AAAAAAND Were done! Whoo finally, I couldn't hang with it for much longer but i'm proud of myself for finishing, even though thas barely an accomplishment. The last couple minutes was a frenzy for the censors. Gooodnight everyone.

UPDATE: Highlight of the night. Tracy Morgan's 30 Rock Acceptance Speech

The Obama Booty Call

2008-11-08T14:53:00.014-05:00

The President-Elect is Barack Obama and as you may have already assumed I'm pleased. I won't bother to do a 'How does it feel?' blog because quite frankly if you've been watching any news channel you've seen the 'crying-black-people-from-all-around-the-world' reel ad nauseum and you already know how I felt.
So, I'd like to take a moment to discuss other matters this afternoon.

Is anyone else familiar with the phenomenon of the Obama Booty Call? or Obooty Call?
Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Someone trying to get at you using the pretense of inspiration and political minded discourse. Maybe, its just my isolated experience but in light of recent events I have been inundated with texts, instant messages, and phone calls from folks I haven't spoke to in years. Most of them are sharing in the excitement. Some of whom are trying to parlay the overwhelming emotions of this era of change and hope into inspiring previously conservative or reluctant ass into bold, bipartisan directions.
Trickin with Hope.

It can come in a variety of forms but it typically begins with Person X* contacting you out of the blue and using the election as an excuse for the interruption. For me, it began election day, getting texts from randoms I had long forgotten about or possibly never knew.
For the purpose of exposition here are some examples of several types of Obooty calls that may or may not be copy and pasted or retyped verbatim. *smh*

.:The Text:.

_: "The Streets Keep Callin'.... I Gotta Change My Number":_

Person X: Ayoo, shawty. Wuts good?

me: ?

Person X: Me, i just voted. U vote?

me: Hell yeah i voted. Yo, who is this?

Person X: Daaaaag ma. its like that? dis ******, yo what u doin this weekend?

me: Ohh...prolly something else

Person X: Huh? but yo get at me. we should do somethin, ta celebrate.
*****The Block Obama '08*****
Git that guap. G unit, D-Block, Birdgang, Dipset, Ay!
text sent via Sidekick.

I discovered there are also exotic variations on this type of text.

_:Political Sex Text:_

Person X: We did it. Obama is the man.

me: Yeah I know, i'm so excited. i can't even believe it

Person X: I know you're excited, I can tell. I can believe it.

me: it was crazy though. I thought it would be closer.

Person X: yeah you can't always tell.. I mean the campaign was so long and so hard...

me: yea

Person X: yeah it was real intense.

me: mmhmm

Person X: But he just kept pushing forward. building so much momentum. he wasn't gonna stop. shit, he prolly couldn't stop even if he wanted to.
they thought they had him when they brought in that white girl

me: Palin?

Person X: yeah. but they should have known a brother could handle that chick. i mean hes too cool to let some jawn like that phase him.

me: Thas true

Person X: Hes very orally skilled. we have alot in common.

me: ...yea

Person X: But toward the end tension kept rising and the polls were tightening. I almost couldn't take it. But i knew my man would come on top. How did it feel for you when it happened?

me: wow, i mean i was just overwhelmed, i was crying a lil bit

Person X: Mmm, I bet I'll have you crying

me: what?

Person X: What you doin tonite?

.:The Instant Message:.
There were quite a bit more of these than texts but I'll just post a few examples...

This is from a random whom I had the good fortune of eventually losing contact with.... Only for Obama to return him to my IM window. He hit me up about an hour before the announcement pretending to be inspired and inquiring about my life. Then 11 pm rolled around....

Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008

NOTE THE TIME!!!

This next one, I'm ashamed to say, is from an ex-boy, who after hitting me up with some of the above mentioned Obooty call dialogue was apparently inspired by Obama to redistribute my wealth.

*SMH* 2008

This last one isn't technically a booty call but it's a little election night correspondence that left me feeling satisfied. The character in question is the individual from a previous post who was attempting to convince me that Obama is the antichrist. I mean even if he is, so what?

Luxuriate in the deliciousness, bitch.

The commonality to all of these Obooty calls is that they leave me wanting the real thing. Who wouldn't turn Lewinsky for the 44th President (Sorry, Michelle)? Intelligent, terrible dancer, tragic mullato corniness/sexiness. I'd respond to a late night smiley from him anyday.
I need ;-P I can believe in.

So, you bookworm negroes better step your collective game up and parlay the former Senator from Chicago's success with the ladies into a revolution instead of lazily tacking parts of his speeches on to your pick up lines. Maybe now instead of these young boys pretending to be hood they'll pretend to be college educated to get some trim.
FELLAS, START BRINGING YOUR DEGREE TO THE CLUB. Cause, I want to see it. I want to see it real bad.

*I'll give him the moniker person X because this person usually is an Ex of some sort. Ex-boyfriend, Ex-friend, Ex-jumpoff, Ex-used to buy me sht cause he thought he was gettin the drawls, etc,. I assume Person X is male but I'm sure theres some enterprising females getting they Obama Booty Call on.

**names were changed to protect the ignorant and the irrelevant.

If I were a Boy

2008-10-30T17:24:00.006-04:00

So there's a rumor that one of the dancers in Beyonce's Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It) video is some sort of dude. Oh, you know, the darker one. Even if there wasn't a rumor before I'm gonna go with it.

Beyonce - Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)

I actually really like this song despite my tense relationship with Mrs. Knowles-Carter. I will say that for what she is and what she does she's very good at it. But I get annoyed when speculation that she is deep or really really creative begins to surface. I'll save the hate for another day however and get back to this business of the male dancer.
Upon reviewing the video a few times in several picture qualities I would have to say the jury is still kind of out but I'm leaning toward 'Oh my God! That's a dude!'
And you know what? More power to him. He's dancing on point, and looks fabulous. it's not beyond the realm of possibility. Sasha Fierce is a diva and as such gets and shows love from the fairy section. I could totally see her being on board with 'homegirl' in her video. And, why not?
Some would say, "Well come on now. How could a man have the phattest ass in a Beyonce video?"
To that I say "Y'all might wanna look a little bit closer at what you're trying to bring home from the club."

I'll leave y'all with some words of wisdom from the great Luenelle:

Go sit in a corner and think on it.

Watch More South Park

2008-10-23T21:14:00.008-04:00

South Park Fun

Barack Obama

Michelle Obama

John McCain

Sarah Palin

I couldn't resist making one for that Ashley Todd girl. If this is the thing that sends me to hell, so be it. I'll take one for the team.

America's Best Dance Crew '08

2008-10-23T00:33:00.004-04:00

http://view.break.com/592648 - Watch more free videos

Obama and McCain - Battle Dance

Yeah, I think I've reached my exhaustion point on politics for this year. We're all boned either way. This video however is the stuff of fantasies and nightmares.

I'm going to have to announce McCain as the winner of this battle. Just because he brought in Sarah Palin who held down her G status and was poppin that ass like a bad chick. Not to mention Barack Obama WISH he could dance like that. I saw him callin himself tryna shake somethin on Ellen a while back. He could have benefited from a few more barbecues with Michelle's peoples.

Obama - 4 McCain - 1

Why Not

2008-10-21T10:57:00.008-04:00

I've been taking in bits of new music here and there to ease my economic woes. I've discovered some new loves (Ms. Jazmine Sullivan) as well as hearing bits and pieces leaked and released from some old favorites.

Marshall- Most of you have probably heard the freestyle 'Relapse'. I suppose it's silly to even pass judgment on something like that, or even Eminem for that matter. I mean he's talking Jamaican again. Vibe magazine has recently announced him the greatest rapper of all time according to an online poll and more fights have broken out over this decree than they do over a spades tables (I had the misfortune of witnessing both disputes occur simultaneously). I think the 'best' title is always going to be impossible to determine particularly in a genre as diverse as hip hop. You can generate a 'top' list but there will always be confounding variables. Are we talking lyricism? Are we talking influence? Are we talking popularity? Hit making ability? Slim Shady has all of these things but he, like most rappers, owes credit to some of them to elements outside of his control. The verdict will forever be out on who the greatest is but if Vibe wants to say its Slim for now I suppose I won't argue too much.

50 Cent - Get Up. Dope meaningless shit from ya boy Curtis. (image unnecessary)

Mr. West- I hear Love Lockdown, I hear Heartless, and most recently I hear Coldest Winter. Well, hmm. His singing has improved between the first and the third. I actually like Coldest Winter a little better than I like Heartless. Not because I prefer singing Kanye to rapping Kanye but I just feel like Ye should be able to make a better rap song than Heartless if he's like, supposed to be a rapper. But, if you want to add an interesting twist to it, he's really supposed to be a producer. But let's not go there.
Coldest Winter has the same strengths and weaknesses as Love Lockdown in my opinion. It sounds more like what it feels like, but his lyrics ring of high school poetry. I suppose he's trying to say something. And I think we all have the right to judge it but I'm reaching the conclusion that this album isn't even for us anyway.
Lack of knowledge or information didn't prevent me from speculating before so why stop now? -On a human level, maybe he just needs to wail and get these things out of his system so that he can progress to something less miserable.
-On another level... I was watching the tube and some pop culture analyst popped up to say that slow meaningful somber songs become hits when the economy is bad whereas upbeat up tempo songs usually don't chart as well when people have no money. Maybe, Mr. West is a marketing genius. In any case, he's bound to have us all depressed and even more broke by the time he gets through with us.

Def Comedy Jam

2008-10-17T02:43:00.004-04:00

McCain Roasts Obama
..ignore the propaganda at the end. McCain was funny but all that wasn't necessary.

Obama Roasts McCain

...neither of them wrote any of this shit but it was definitely funny. Funny thing is my verdict on their routines is identical to my opinion of the last debate. McCain made some good points, started off better than I expected but Obama performed a bit better even though he started off weaker, and he spoke more smoothly, and basically delivered.

Obama - 4 , McCain - 0

Obama on Foodstamps

2008-10-16T16:13:00.005-04:00

I'm so broke I would probably use these if it came down to it. I am, alas, but a Dollar Menu-naire.

Yes, there's a story.
Indiana McCain supporter whips this up in a newsletter, claims she's 'not racist'.

PSA: You ever had a white friend and you got into a racial argument with them, or even just a discussion that got out of hand? Then you try to break things down for them, rationally explaining the differences between their experiences and yours. And you call on every African American studies class you took, and very special (insert black family sitcom) episode you seen, or black militant pamphlet you ever read. And instead of just digesting it and understanding it they..they start fucking tearing up and crying. And their all like 'Oh, I never thought about it that way. It must feel terrible to go through (blank) everyday.'
Now, you don't even know how to feel. On the one hand you're glad that you may have made a breakthrough. Then the idea that somebody could start crying just from hearing about your life is like..depressing as shit. Then you get angry that somebody could live in this country and not understand or even consider important aspects of life here that you and many other minorities find inescapable. What the fuck do you mean you 'never thought about it that way'? How is that even possible? So, then you get mad and you hate her for the rest of the day but, you can't act like it because her mom is picking both of you up from the mall.
That story kind of had its own tangent, but the point I was trying to make is that although one may think it's progressive to 'not see race' it's not helpful. At times, I feel I prefer discussions with racists because at least we have the commonality of both seeing race instead of conveniently pretending its not an issue, and getting appalled when it's brought up.

Okay, to end with some levity.

Obama prepares for the debates

Long time coming...

2008-10-15T15:05:00.008-04:00

Former Secretary of Defense, Gen. Colin Powell files paperwork to get his negro card reinstated.

Powell -- who has yet to back a candidate -- told the audience: "I stand before you as an African-American. Many people have said to me you became secretary of state of the USA, is it still necessary to say that you are an African American or that you are black? And I say yes, so that we can remind our children."
"It took a lot of people struggling to bring me to this point in history," Powell told the audience. "I didn't just drop out of the sky. People came from my continent in chains."
-Source

I, like most black folks, got mixed feelings about the General but I always felt like one day he would come around. Time will tell what this leads to but this image reminds me of the scene in How High when the Dean gets a hold of the sticky and starts bustin' out to Parliament at some bourghie costume party.
This is like that but better!

As much as I hate to throw the 'election headquarters' at Fox News any ad revenue (even from my insignificant effort on this blog) I have to link the article, just cause they have the pictures, the info, and the most brazenly ignorant, amazing headline to this post that I couldn't even imagine.

Hip-Hop-Dancing Colin Powell Fuels Speculation He'll Endorse Obama

Colin Powell showed off his hip-hop moves at an 'Africa Rising' celebration in London Tuesday, fueling speculation that the former secretary of state is about to endorse Barack Obama for president...

...crimety.

The Weirdo: Kanye (Love Lockdown)

2008-10-10T16:59:00.007-04:00

Anyway, I've had an abundance of Ye posts lately most likely because I've been intrigued by Love Lockdown. To be honest I don't really think its the best song ever but I like analyzing shit so that's what ima do. In my last post I was discussing whether or not I felt that Mr. West uses a mask. To cut to the chase I think he does a lot of hiding in plain sight but yes there is a mask. He uses cadence and emphasis to disguise that he's rhyming in platitudes. And it's a technique that makes the mundane seem significant and the personal, impersonal.

As I mentioned before, Kanye has suffered some personal upsets and tragedies this year, the likes of which one would expect an artist like him to discuss. But, anyone with an ego like his is going to have a hard time laying himself completely bare for his audience(remember we want the suit zipped closed.) His verse on 'Put On' was powerful and has been lauded as intimate but what is more interesting is the vocodered smoke screen of it. He starts off silly/obnoxious and then the brief emotional reveal ("Lost the only girl in the world that know me best"), then back to bullshit and in and out. It fits his take on the song which is essentially the reality and art and necessity of fronting. Pretending your good when you're so not.

But 'Love Lockdown' is supposed to be a heightened level of intimacy. It sounds like the monotone forlorn depression, interspersed with the racing thoughts one has when watching their relationship slip through their fingers but, the lyrics don't say much or reveal much even to that effect. Obviously rhyming is not Ye's strong suit but the generic vagueness of the lyrics in my opinion reveal that Kanye isn't able to be revealing about the topic. Reading the song lyrics is like reading a teenager's Myspace Blog entry about a breakup. The author has a lot to say, a lot of emotions, but doesn't want to say anything specific because to do so would leave them feeling naked...and because the person the entry is about probably still reads their shit. So they try to use metaphors and flowery language that captures the essence of how they feel while disguising the reality of what they mean. This song must have made Kanye feel very naked because he cloaks the actual meaning in turnarounds and obscure metaphors and of course, the fucking vocoder. Anyone who has heard the original studio version knows he even went as far as to mumble the chorus (I was not amused.)

So, I really do like the song, and I even like the video even though it does the same trick of feeling like something but not saying anything. But, it seems like Yeezy doesn't have enough cognitive dissonance between his person and his persona to go too deep without hurting himself.

Got em!

2008-10-09T03:09:00.003-04:00

I know that Keith Olberman has fantasies of Obama draped in nothing but the American flag but that doesn't prevent me from enjoying him discuss Sarah Palin and her recent remarks on the Bill Ayers terrorist nonsense.

I'm so fuckin fair and balanced!

Happy Birthday to me!

2008-10-07T13:40:00.002-04:00

Shit, even I'm a day late in congratulating myself.

The Weirdo: Kanye

2008-10-03T18:05:00.016-04:00

"We're all actors. Don't fear no rappers, they're all weirdos, DeNiros in practice, so don't believe everything your earlobe captures..." -Jay-Z

Hip hop is genre that is authentic and false all at once. Lately, as mainstream rap has become more commodified the falseness of it has prevailed (as it has in almost every other form of music). That is not to say that there isn't excellence and creativity in the fiction of it. You can liken a rap persona to that of a superhero's alter ego. (I know I'm treading in foreign territory here but, whatever.) It's a means of elevation and separation. You can be gorier, grittier, flashier, sexier, even more clever or pseudo intelligent from behind a mask because its a filter that protects the ego. These masks can be as concealing as full body armor or the disguise can be as minimalist as a pair of spectacles but they do the job of creating a curious but at times necessary barrier between the artist and the audience.

We think we want to see whats behind the facade but we also don't. It's like watching an action movie. You're excited to see whether or not the hero will be unmasked and the anticipation and wonder grows as some horrific circumstance leaves him in a situation where his guise begins to crack or shred or tatter. Our interest is piqued by those cracks and glimpses of flesh beneath the hard exterior but if some circumstance forced our hero to spill out of his suit to reveal that all along he was a regular- ass guy, we would be roundly disappointed (Note: When I say regular-ass guy I don't just mean not superhuman, I mean not even above average human. Think 'Joe Sixpack' or whoever the fuck that bitch was talking about the other night.) For perspective, think of how you felt when you listened to Young Buck plead uncomfortably with 50 Cent (textbook rap superhero) for financial relief. Even those who were admittedly sensitive to his predicament were decidedly uncomfortable with the whole business. No one wants to see Bruce Banner taken out with a round to the back of the head while he's taking a shit and reading the newspaper. Most artists realize this and their work tends to be a balancing act of projection interspersed with brief introspective turns. The talented among them can mine their pasts and present for stirring emotion to make the art piece complete.

Then there are the others. They tend to fall into the category of conscious rapper but there are variables to this rule as there are for anything else. Even if they have a rap name they appear plain by comparison to their armored, roided, counterparts (eg: Common, Talib Kweli, Lupe Fiasco, etc.,) However, despite their perceived normalcy these artists also exist fictionally and can be known to demonstrate character plasticity and lyrical prowess in the form of mild misogyny or violence the likes of which no Wasalu or Lonnie would ever involve themselves with (allegedly). "Murder niggas/step on my shoes I hurt a nigga/Kill a nigga/Fill a nigga with holes/Call women hoes" -Lupe on 'Switch: Science Project' *

This brings me to Kanye West. It would seem as though Mr. West had no mask or costume. Yes, there's a knack for bombast and primadonna drama but it also is accompanied by a heightened sense of his own flaws and insecurities. His alter ego is to a costume as your mood is to when you put on a nice suit. You look good, you feel good and important, you may even spend more, laugh more, and be more charming/obnoxious, but you're still you. You can walk into the building feeling like a million bucks but in the back of your mind your wondering if those P.Y.T's in the corner would still be winking at you if they could see your credit score. I believe it is this perceived lack of filter that makes Kanye interesting, and the fact that he may actually have one that makes him Kanye. His rap mask is similar to the one he uses in real life. He grew up as a member of the average middle class and on his debut College Dropout most, if not all, of his stories were about relatable aspects of everyday life, hating your job, swiping your vulnerabilities on your charge card, being pitifully flawed and jubilantly human and wildly inappropriate. But despite that, Ye seems as though he is something not quite like us.

Kanye, by his own explanation, is often misunderstood. Most assholes are. And the cause and effect of what comes first can be 'chicken and egged' ad nauseum. I briefly brought up this concept of the awkward genius/outcast in my Ryan Leslie post but I can revisit it here. Ye has a drive and talent that is above average, and also a uniqueness and sensitivity that has most likely made him different throughout his life. Ryan Leslie falls in this category as well however he seems to be struggling against his own personality to be received the way Ye had been. To try to understand the difference, and since I love analogies, we can liken the industry dynamics to high school dynamics. Kanye and Leslie are basically outcasts with symbiotic relationships to the in crowd. They are not respected for physical prowess, nor are they necessarily poetically attractive, and being bullied remains a threatening possibility (see Beanie Siegel). But they both know that if the star athletes want to play on the team this season they're gonna need someone to help them do their math homework. Using this leverage they got exposure to the popular lifestyle that more traditional talents will get you and they have managed to turn the benefits of their arrangements into something of their own. Here is where Ye and R. Les differ. Leslie feels he is better than the varsity in crowd and does not really bother himself with attempting to fit into their click. He wants popularity outside of what they can offer him and views them as a platform. It reads as disdain for them and their world. So whether it be a reaction to his inability to fit in or the cause of it he operates on an isolated wavelength and he does not make an effort to assign himself a role in their circles or begin humbly and move up their ranks. He feels he is superior and can not or will not pretend to be anything other than. He is more the elitist nerd.

If Kanye feels his brand of talent is superior to that of the jock he does not make that apparent. In gaining popularity he used his 'in' to gain a title. He could have just been the weirdo but he used the 'class clown' persona to gain their good graces and deflect some of the expected negative attention (she got a light skinned friend/ look like Michael Jackson...) For all of Kanye's bombast he is self deprecating and silly, especially in his introduction, College Dropout. He points out his flaws to prevent you from pointing them out as well as to make you more comfortable with his uniqueness. He has maintained this technique and it adds to his intriguing fragility. His ability to emphasize his relationship to the average despite being an 'other' is what got him his honorary letters (R.O.C.) and from there he developed a following of his own. As his popularity grows he no longer has to impress the jocks but can push himself and his own expression. He in fact, must do this, in order to get into the good graces of the next crowd, the eclectic Chris and Gwyneth, Karl Lagerfeld circles.

I'm gonna stop here for now and continue later when I feel like it (probably soon though). I had intended to end with my review of 'Love Lockdown' but I'll make that it's own post.

*used as an example because it makes me giggle.

God shed your grace on thee

2008-09-30T16:03:00.005-04:00

Politics is something that I have been into in varying degrees for the past couple years. I liken it to a spectator sport. CNN and ESPN aren't altogether that different. It's show after show about alleged authorities on the subject, as well as talking heads, spewing opinion after opinion and attempting to speculate the shit out of whats going to happen in the next event based on the statistics and data they have available, when they totally don't really know. Also, the actual events for that matter only make up 10% of the programming so what you get is masturbatory droning interspersed with episodes of absolute live and realtime excitement and/or horror. So, you pick a team and you root for it. Brag about their accomplishments and blame the ref or the coach/advisor when they don't perform well, depending whether your fandom is obsessive or pragmatic. I know it's stupid, and in some ways pointless, but I am a fan, especially now that I have an MVP I can really get behind.

I just returned from a third world country. It gave me a nice tall glass of perspective and made me really realize what a wealthy country we live in and how much other nations, that we don't even think about, depend on us. I felt an enormous amount of pride in my country, at our ability to get things done and have a system and philosophy in place that facilitates the growth of our nation as well as the distribution of wealth to as many people as it manages. I wondered what set us apart. Was it the original settlers? The architects of the Declaration of Independence, or the minds that set the current legislative and governing systems in place?
But every time I watch the news I see more and more dumb shit. It's usually hilarious, and then sad because you realize your laughing at the state of the country, and that means you're fucked.
Then yesterday, I had the day off. So, since I had the house to myself, I picked up some lunch and sat down on the couch and clicked on one of the news channels. I am not ashamed to admit my naivety, and what I saw damn near broke my heart. I saw some grown ass men, in suits and ties no less, come on television and say that they were planning on reluctantly voting for the 700 billion dollar bailout package, but that they changed their minds because they felt some type of way about House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's gutter ass speech. That bailout package was questionable in it's own right. I have no idea what it really means for America but I was assuming that the people voting on that shit did, and at the very least, if they didn't agree with it it would be for a more mature reason than that they had their feelings hurt.

Then I remembered, the United States doesn't owe it's greatness the systems in place and possibly not even because of our cultural and structural philosophies. The excesses, the celebrities, the skyscrapers, the technology: WE OWE ALL THAT SHIT TO THE SLAVES. We should have a slave appreciation month. Because, quite frankly if it wasn't for those hundreds of years of free labor, we would've been fucked, wrestling with some Native Americans over some dusty ass ears of corn to this fucking day.
So, next time your sipping a hot latte in an air conditioned venue filled with computers, ya know, just in case you feel like using one, thank your lucky stars for the slaves.

Thank you, Slaves
Love,
Ms. Shai

I'm not here right now, Leave a message...

2008-09-23T17:12:00.003-04:00

There has been no shortage of dumb shit going on not only in my personal life but in life in general. I been out of the country also so now that i'm back I'll attempt to get back in the swing of things. In the meantime, y'all can watch this Josh Groban guy make an ass of himself at the Emmy's. It's both music and fuckery related, which is becoming a prerequisite. Plus, he does South Park, Baywatch, and The Jefferson's.

Damn, these niggas got me...

2008-09-11T20:20:00.003-04:00

...I hate these niggas more than the Nazi's.

Story: Kanye West attacks the paparazzi, arrested

I'm not a news source but I thought a post on this was fitting given the nature of the last one.

Lost my momma, lost my mind...

2008-09-10T12:38:00.007-04:00

The news that I am actually excited about comes from Kanye. There will be a new Kanye West album this year with the release date set at 12/9. The title: 808's and Heartbreak.
Here' why I'm excited...
Some people have been chattering and bitching about the title. Apparently, it was supposed to be 'Good Ass Job'. But, I think there's something superficial about following his initial trajectory of College Dropout >Freshman Adjustment?>Late Registration> Career Services? >Graduation>>>Good Ass Job, in spite of the life changing events that have happened to him over the past year. I think it's pretty evident that as bombastic as Ye' is he is a lot more sincere and personal than a lot of other rappers because he basically is his persona, flaws and all. He got engaged, his mother passed away, and then he called off the engagement to his fiance all in the same chaotic year. For an artist as intimate as Ye, the title really shouldn't be a surprise. There's also the threat of a 90's new jack era sound to the album (I'm basing this off of the tone of Love Lockdown) and I don't think I could be more enthused about it. Obviously, I'm over here speculating my ass off but I think that the combination 808 and heartbreak is something that's so far up my alley i'm pregnant already.

Dyson...

2008-09-10T12:31:00.002-04:00

Dyson goes to a Nas Concert

You ever see Michael Eric Dyson bust some phat rhymes? Well, here's your opportunity.

Love Lockdown

2008-09-08T01:24:00.009-04:00

I can't do a full recap of the VMA's because as much of a fuckery enthusiast as I am I ...I just ..I can't. All I'll say is that Wayne's enthusiasm for music is infectious and him kissing the older white lady before going on stage to accept his award was a wtf highlight for me (it warmed my heart, and made me forgive that he was rockin a plaid vest I almost picked up at Forever 21). I also think I liked this 'Love Locked Down' song that Ye' debuted at the close of the show but it's one of those things that will sound better recorded than live. So I can't call whether it's simplicity is endearing or pretentious. The simple suit and pulsing glow heart was a cute touch though. But, his shaky vocoder work is distracting, even more so than this odd brittish cat hosting the show and his Amy Winehouse do. So i'm awaiting more. Also, I am actually more excited about this French Revolution inspired rap battle Tag commercial than I am about the VMA's as a whole so..theres that.

Update: Ok so obviously this whole show was some kind of Britney Spears marketing vehicle but can you get over Sway talking to Cee-Lo backstage and spending the entire interview asking him what he thinks of Ms. Spears recovering from adversity and K. Fed and then when they finally get to some interesting shit like what he thought of Ye's new music they cut him off. smh

So, lemme find out I got you Amy Win'd out...

2008-09-08T00:44:00.006-04:00

Ryan Leslie - Addiction

The video for 'Addiction' has dropped and i'm posting this because I love the song and I am intrigued by Ryan Leslie. He's undoubtedly extremely talented. But, he suffers from this genius complex. Meaning he's someone who is so far advanced past his peers his whole life that he can't really relate to them...so he doesn't really learn social norms and comes off like a repulsive asshole from time to time. However, I think in spite of that its flat out egregious how much this guy has been getting ignored by the mainstream. Fabolous too for that matter, he's definitely the main one making up for Leslie's curious lack of charm in this video. In R.Les' video for 'Diamond Girl' he was definitely weird. He's not a great looking guy and even his crooning has a nasal, textbook nerd, tonality attached to it but his old school tight suited exhuberance made it an interesting video. This video on the other hand is more typical as far as rap videos go. I noted the use of darker skinned models and I thought that was a cool and interestingly/sadly a good way to make your video stand out (but wheres Cassie?...being Ma$e hehehe). Leslie is stiff and almost nervous and uncomfortable looking. Maybe i'm reading too much into his posture but he's posing like someone whose trying to look cool and the obviousness of that endears me to him even further. However, Loso brings out the groupie in me in a way Les can only dream about. Yow!

Also, if you want to read something better than this and a writeup about the song check out this post at No Trivia.

There is fiction in the space between...

2008-09-03T20:24:00.007-04:00

...the lines on the page, and your memories. Write it down but it doesn't mean, that you're not just tellin' stories." -T.C.

I just heard some of the greatest news today. Tracy Chapman is coming out with an album this November. I absolutely love her. And 'Fast Car' is one of the first songs that made me feel something, and think about how evocative and pretty and complex music and poetry is... even though my mom had to sit me down and explain that it wasn't Gary Coleman singing in the video (I thought little Arnold was too deep).

Look up Marlon. Say Cheese!

Matter of fact, the first time I fell in love was in a fast car scenario and if I hadn't been lucky enough to get dropped off a couple blocks from my house my storyline might have panned out alot like the one in the song. Here's to you Ms. Chapman, I can see why Alice Walker was so sweet on ya. Beautiful soul and songstress. I wanted to close the post with video of the "Making of a Tracy Chapman Song" sketch that aired on In Living Color, however hours of searching have told me the internets are rather unyielding tonight. But, regardless I have to post the classic.

Tracy Chapman- Fast Car

My President is Black?

2008-09-02T19:41:00.003-04:00

I don't mean to make this a political blog. But frankly if i'm going to be talking about what I like I might as well toss this in the blender. An article discussing what everyone wants to know: What if **** were black?

What If Bristol Palin Were Black? by Cenk Uygur
Christian-right leaders and conservative stalwarts have praised the decision of Bristol Palin, the daughter of Governor Sarah Palin, to carry her child to term. She is 17 and conceived this child out of wedlock. Now imagine she wasn't the daughter of a prominent Republican politician but an average person. Now imagine she was black.

What do you think conservatives would have to say about her? "Typical, urban youth with no sense of responsibility raised with loose morals who plans to depend on the state to take care of her child." You know it. It's not within dispute. That's exactly what they would say.

Barack Obama has told everyone to lay off this because it is a personal, family matter. Yes, but it also has public policy ramifications. Governor Palin is for abstinence only education. Well, that obviously didn't work.
(continue reading)

And in conclusion an excerpt from the all too short lived Chappelle's Show: Black President Bush. This episode was genius in its simplicity. Our president becomes explicitly indefensible when portrayed as a black man. Even though this black man does and says the exact same things as our president. What if? indeed.

The Entire DNC in One Minute!

2008-08-31T11:50:00.005-04:00

Yeah, so I, like many of you (including my dumbassed "Obama is the Antichrist" friend from a few posts ago,) have been watching the DNC enthused and mesmerized. If I were to rank the speeches as far as meaningfulness to me I would say.
1. Michelle Obama - strong, thoughtful woman, tugged on the heartstrings
2. Barack Obama - good as always, more attacky, and promisy
3. Hilary Clinton - I give her props for reigning it in and showing genuine support
4. Bill Clinton - Bill Clinton
5. Joe Biden - Beau Biden lolz

I don't really know what my criteria was for that particular sequence but that's just how I calls it.

I, like many of you (except my dumbassed Obama/Antichrist friend, who is mesmerized by her nerdy hotness)am bemused and horrified by Senator McCain's choice of Vice President. I like to write out the word Vice President when discussing Governor Sarah Palin, because I think it puts into perspective the fact that this broad would become the acting president in the unlikely event that a 73 year old former POW, dies in office. Alaska! And what frightens me is not that she was chosen but that theres a possibility she will win. I mean genuinely frightened. She has 5 kids, one still in diapers, she has never expressed any interest in even dealing with the responsibilities of a Vice President. It's like if I was chosen. And I can't even be trusted to update my site everyday (or know what day it is).

Update: The Scariest Thing I Have seen this week...Sarah Palin

Bonus!

2008-08-26T20:31:00.002-04:00

And just because it's Friday!

T-Pain and Lil Wayne - Can't Believe It

...aah fuck, its not Friday.

Can I see some I.D.?

2008-08-26T19:41:00.004-04:00

The above is pop singer Jesse "You and Your Beautiful Soul" McCartney doing a cover of T-Pain's 'Buy You A Drank'. He prefaces his rendition by saying it has a "nasty groove", and then they launch into it, snaps and all. At the :49 second mark you get to hear this sweet blond child say 'Konvict Music, Nappy Boy, Oohwee'. It is my strong belief that any time a black people directly or indirectly inspire fuckery of this caliber in white people, an angel gets its wings, and a 40 oz. You don't have to understand my religious convictions, I have long been persecuted for my beliefs. Apparently, Young Money Jesse has been performing this rendition at his concerts because video of that is the first thing to come up when you type 'Buy You A Drink' in youtube as opposed to Teddy Bendherassdown's version. What do you call gentrification as it applies to music? Oh yes, I remember: Elvis, I believe was the term.

Hearing this boy, who I am just now understanding is in fact not Aaron Carter, croon this song reminds me of two things. The first being what an amazing song that is. I didn't think I would be able to bear listening to this song as interpreted by someone without pubic hair but the tune is so good and simple that it just reminds me of its goodness. I roll in a clique of music elitists who wanted to act like T-Pain was not that piff but I begged to differ. T-Pain is far past unfortunate looking. I've heard of him bearing a resemblance to one of the animatronic gorillas that perform at the Chuck-E-Cheese stage show. And his vocoder schtik has become a rap cliche but I have always tipped my hat to him as far as originality goes. He's a weird motherfucker and he makes music that sounds good. I would hasten to call him a genius but I am appreciative of his otherness and I anticipate his next album (and a Pain/Wayne collaboration disc would be sweet) even though sometimes I wish he would 'Take off that silly ass hat!'© Chris Rock.

The other thing this video reminds me of is the sanitation of nigger music for the consumption of the masses. Now, at this point I hesitate to cry foul on this poor white boy. After all the sanitation process does not seem to be working nor necessary because white girls have been upsetting their parents out in the clubs shaking it to the original long enough for the RIAA to figure out how to get a cut from the dark and nasty version without manufacturing a white washed copy *deep breath*. BUT, still I'll close the post with the Cadillac Car scene from *Dreamgirls where the point I was clumsily trying to make is illustrated through song and dance.

* copyright laws man, ignore the spanish unless se habla..lo.

These fuckers...

2008-08-26T16:24:00.004-04:00

So it starts. I'm talkin with my mom about the Democratic National Convention and the last thing she says of course is, what else: I hope nobody tries to kill him. Well, we laughed nervously and I said that no one would try to kill him. I only half believed myself. My rationale being that the powers that be know at this point that when you assassinate a figure that is well liked they become a martyr and such. I felt that damage to Obama would be more surreptitious, like he mysteriously develops a crack habit or something (word to COINTELPRO). But butter my biscuits I forgot al l about the conspiracy meth heads- i.e. rednecks. I'm strugggling to find the quote exactly but a federal official remarked something to the affect of 'these are just some crackheads, dont worry. We got this.' Well obviously I hope so but, I never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. I read that on a T-shirt once and it saved my life on numerous occasions and also at a Rutgersfest.

On a waaaay doper note I'll leave you with Michelle Obama's speech at the DNC last night. Those babies, are so cute.

Swagger Like Us

2008-08-23T14:00:00.005-04:00

In general, I am typically content with my life and my belongings but the moments where I am frustrated at my situation mostly revolve around my minimalist old school European car and the fact that it doesn't have an AUX jack and truck speakers. And songs like Swagger Like Us only serve to augment my grief because the shit is so absolutely dope. An M.I.A. sample from 'Paper Planes' loops in the background, her vacuous delivery being the perfect match up for this dense futuristic sounding track. I like M.I.A. but she can be annoying and that was my knee jerk reaction to hearing her sample repeated at the top of the song but then the drums race in and the sonic spaces are filled and the tracks are laid for Yeezy, Weezy, Jay-Z and Clifford Harris to ride the beat like a runaway subway train through Swaggerville. Everyone really holds their own on this song, I guess they were inspired by the topic (lol). The only problem is that Jiggaman's flow is more of the homeless guy in the back of the train variety than an actual paying passenger. He thinks he owns the train because he's been living on it for years but he doesn't have anything important to say. He continues to repeat himself and randomly blurts out random sing song things like 'HOO-OOVAAH' and generally annoying everyone. C'mon Jay, Not Again! As I previously mentioned, on Dope Boy Fresh the beat was fuckin terrible so I could excuse your not being inspired by it. But dude, this shit knocks, and this is supposed to be your forte. Matter fact you had the worst flow in the whole fucking song (you have no idea how much that pained me to type). Maybe this isn't the best song ever and maybe Jay wasn't that bad but I'm not gonna lie, when I first heard the news that this track was being put together I went from excited to depressed because I remembered what a let down Dope Boy Fresh had been for me. So upon hearing it I will allow myself to get excited about it in spite of Jay-Z's lazy shit. The following is for all ~~five~~ of you to enjoy!

Swagger Like Us - T.I., Kanye West, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne

You Know I Won't Leave You But Won't Wait Forever

2008-08-22T14:35:00.004-04:00

So I'm just getting into this new track from Wasalu Fiasco and i'm feeling it enough to make me hope for some more good shit. Although I don't know if this is supposed to go on an album or was left off another one. I'm not that kind of music person, that knows that type of shit. Ask someone else. I like that Lupe entered hip hop by unzipping and climbing out the backpack. it gives him the freedom to talk about shit that he obviously doesn't really know about. However, this track is basically about how young minded boys can really stress out a female. What else is new. I'll buy that he's stressed out his old lady, if he's still with her. But then again I'll say he still has the capacity to surprise me. Like that time he allegedly choked a bitch for throwing her drink in his face. Is there something sick about me that made me more interested in him after he did that? I might have to return my purple Domestic Violence Awareness ribbon. Although I won't lie I have been off and on his jock for a minute. Back when I would religiously listen to the FnF podcast on Mondays started it all. So now here's a track with Ye' on production. It's typical Kanye, a chipmunk soul loop and friendly guitar strums. It's good story telling music. But what this reminds me of is that what I really am hoping for is a CSR album. All the girls standing in the line for the bathroom!! I think that would absolutely take me to glory. Pharell, Kanye, and Lupe make an excellent team. Fresh out the backpack, Pharell brings the highlighters, Ye brings the LV trapperkeeper, and Lupe brings a thesaurus. If they work hard enough they all get D's or DD's if they put in that extra credit. Please make it happen boys.

Lupe Fiasco - The Birds and the Bees

You Just A Baby Boy

2008-08-21T14:03:00.005-04:00

I have to discuss an issue that randomly concerns me this afternoon. Chris Brown. Who does this guy think he is? If you want me to be perfectly honest I was not really paying attention to anything he was doing until that song 'Poppin' got a remix with Juelz Santana (Ay!) and Lil Wayne a few summers ago. It was too funny not to enjoy, oh what with lines like "I'm about my dough and cheese just call me a slice of pizza (Ay!)/ I'll be your pizza guy/ deliver your pizza pie(Ay!)" There was fun to be had for all. Chris Brown to me represented the crop of popular entertainers that were actually younger than me. More specifically sex symbols that were younger than me. Chris Breezy never really did it for me in my panty area like how he seems to do it for these young girls. In fact, I actually did have one dream about him *smoke and glitter fade in* It involved myself and my then boyfriend (who actually secretly digs CB despite allegedly being from the block or something) and Chris all on an outing to the movies. Breezy ruined the movie by laughing and talking and eating popcorn with his mouth open, and all around being immature. We wondered who invited him - End Scene.
But something about him always piqued my curiosity. He reminded me of one of those kids that was cute but not as popular in high school as you would think he should be. He never dated any of the girls that liked him because he was too busy going down on his mom's friends. That's his back story as far as I'm concerned. So I passed on whatever his first album was called but I did decide to pick up Exclusive. And blimey, it was not half bad. It had a lot of catchy production and it played to his strengths. His voice at best sounds like amateur night at the Apollo. So he largely stayed away from ballads. Even 'With You' the only song on the album that could be mistaken for a ballad is saved by its midtempo beat. 'Take You Down' is the other ballad and I love the throwback to the nasty R&B era of days long past. To me that song captures the intensity and perverted anxiety of your pubescent hormones and your heartbeat during your first time (or at least how you imagine it) and again the fact that its this young bwoy singin it fits and takes you there (or back). And on what I can only assume is Chris Brown's lazy attempt at a stripper love track 'Gimme What You Got', Weezy drops by again to say "let's get high and make love on Venus." Maybe its trite but I like it. I like it when Wayne talks about sex, love , and drugs. These are the topics for which I'll allow he has some authority. In any case my point was that EXclusive was a solid album for what it was however apparently it didn't do so well.

So now, whenever Chris gets a moment to tear himself away from Rihanna's asshole (I'm not hatin, I'm just sayin'), he has been popping up on confusing collabo's and making techno like tracks that I guess are supposed to give him more 'crossover ' appeal (in my opinion heavy metal needs more crossover help than pop r&b these days, but whatev's). On Exclusive's re-release theres the song 'Forever' that has been getting airplay inexplicably. I mean I am not opposed to the disco/club music revival that has been going on lately but I only like it when it's done in a way that is...oh i don't know, sonically appealing? For instance, Ne-Yo's 'Closer' in my opinion hits the right pace, Ne-Yo has always been into these kind of beat patterns and his zesty persona melds with this white nightclub beat in a way I can get into. However in my opinion Rihanna's 'Disturbia' is pretty terrible. Maybe it isn't if you're some kind of glowstick kid and automatically like this kind of music but to me it doesn't hit the mark. I'm not really mad at Rihanna for this though, just because she has been fortunate enough to be a weird artist that can do weird things with her weird voice and get away with it. Chris' 'Forever' however, just seems forced...and a lot like an ad for Doublemint Gum, I mean, did he get a check for that line, cause it didn't even make sense, its just thrown in there. Now he is on some songs with artist Dre and one of them is called 'Hologram' and its pretty bad. The "boom boom chika boom boom" line is repeated over a boring crunchy synth while Dre and Chris talk about God knows what. Basically I am trying to say I don't want to see Chris Brown anywhere he's not supposed to be. Singing while Lil Wayne raps - sure why not (they basically the same age, mentally). Talkin about toasting gangstas with Nas - I don't think so (although I think Nas bodied himself on that track without Chris' help, smh). Nickelodeon Choice Awards- certainly. Anymore of this techno garbage - No more for me please. I'm sorry your last album didn't do so well, but thats because 'Wall to Wall' was a stupid song and you put it out as your lead single. That was the first mistake. There's good shit on that album that no one really got to hear. So instead of jumping on an 'A Milli' freestyle or trying to surf this disco/techno wave you should be doing something that sounds good. And unfortunately, Rihanna doesn't count, kiddo.

When will the Death Stop?

2008-08-21T00:48:00.003-04:00

Most of the time when people ask me what my favorite film is I like to give ambiguous answers. I can't take all of the pressure, got off my back damn it. But in all honesty one of the movies that I could deem a favorite (favorite status determined by my ability to watch it whenever its on, I'm a film snob) would be the movie of all movies, Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon.
This movie was one of those films that came out in the 80's and had finally made their rotation to basic cable by the 90's, just in time for my childhood. These leftover videos from the 80's is what I consider mostly responsible for the reason why a person who was still in diapers for the parts of the eighties they were around for can still remember that era with so much nostalgia. In any case, I have discovered that the films star Sho'Nuff has passed away of pancreatic cancer.

He Put Onnnn...

2008-08-19T22:17:00.008-04:00

I wasn't going to post this because I wanted my next post to be music related but how excited was I when I realized this gem was, particularly relevant to my last post on Jay-Z. Angel Pantoja Medina of San Juan was embalmed standing up so that he could be on his feet during his wake. Fresh to death with Dolce & Gabbanna glasses on as well as what else.. a yankee fitted.

Refer yourselves to the verse Jigga spits at the end of Jeezy's 'Put On'.
"I put on for my city so when I’m dead and gone I got one last wish, put my Yankees hat on."

So you see kids? Fuckery only begets more fuckery.

However I gotta say I'm not mad at Angel. Everybody say they wanna go out in style but he had peoples that helped him get what he wanted, even in the afterlife. And now that I see how he's gone out of this world don't it make you wish you knew his crazy ass when he was alive? I think i've lost one of my brethren.

(Source)

Obama, Wolverine, and the Antichrist

2008-08-19T15:00:00.008-04:00

On Sunday night I was all settled in to watch the fake debate (at Saddleback Ranch with Ricky Gervais or whoever) that the news channels had been broadcasting regarding the religious perspectives of McCain and Obama. I caught most of Obama's portion of the forum before I had to interrupt viewing to...sin, I won't get specific. Every time I watch Obama speak I'm holding my breath, its like watching someone on a tight rope, but that's how it always is when you have someone that represents your people addressing hot button concerns. And with all this talk about him being evil the ante is upped because now stupid people think the fate of the souls of the world depends upon it. I was preparing myself to write a post about all of it but I suppose I'll save the fire for next time. Or possibly for a real debate.

However the debate isn't exactly what I wanted to discuss this afternoon. I want to talk about some of the more ignorant and logically tenuous elements of politics. I should begin by saying that the ecosystem of my social environment is fragile. This means that most of the people I talk to on a regular basis have opinions that run somewhere along the spectrum of my own. So this guy I know somehow went and infiltrated that ecosystem and we begin having this pseudo - political conversation. I began with my own factually unfounded (but probably true) accusation that Bush has Illuminati- like influence over the oil industry and can be blamed for these crippling gas prices. No, I don't completely know what I'm talking about and I'll accept that I could be wrong but that's just one of my conspiracy moments, all great thinkers have them.

So then this reggin (word to Stephen Colbert) goes and says that he has a bad feeling about Obama because he just came out of nowhere. I attempt to stop him right there, because "he just came out of nowhere" is almost 98% of the time a preface to the accusation that Barack Obama is the Antichrist, and I think that hearing that kind of craziness come out of the mouth of an educated, young, black male would be too much for me to take. I'm all for open minded discussions and fuckery of sorts though so I let him speak his mind and as I suspected he believes that theres a reasonable possibility that Obama is the Antichrist (this young man also voted for Bush in '04, not based on policy, but on the sketches a Bush impersonator, whom he mistook for the President, does on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.*smh*). I thought he would direct me to several of the youtube videos one might stumble across if one happened to type in obama + antichrist in the search engine. But instead I got a treat. Apparently more support for the argument that Obama's popularity represents the end of days comes from our friends at Marvel and my favorite 90's childhood cartoon of all times: X-Men!

X-Men: The Animated Series -Time Fugitives (Part 2)
The episode synopsis is such that some mysterious techno virus is wiping out humans, everyone thinks its the mutants fault of course, and Cable and Bishop travel back and forth in time to either kill whose responsible and find an antidote, blah blah blah, nerd nerd nerd. The point is at around the 5:50 mark a mysterious leader makes an appearance and he bares a vague resemblance to the light skinneded incumbent, and then before u know it..dun Dun DUNN...Apocalypse is upon us!! I feel like this 'proof' is no stronger than any of the other things that are being thrown around the internets so I toss this into the ring as well. Also who doesn't miss this show! I won't lie, when framed in all this context it gave me the creeps but then i realized I'm not a freakin idiot like my homeboy.

My roots are showing...

2008-08-17T12:35:00.005-04:00

I can't say I have been intently following the Olympics. I'm glad that people are interested in it because I think it's a great concept and the idea that people can come together in the spirit of lively competition is very dope to me. Swimmer Michael Phelps announcing that he listens to Weezy before ~~winning the gold~~ rocking the shit and breaking Olympic history with 8 gold medals is also a very cool thing to me. Although I'm always excited when USA wins anything there's another country I root for in these games and its JA *lawdamercy!*. Jamaica kicks ass in the Olympics. The kind of people that would live on a hot ass island and decide to participate in winter sports and achieve any kind of success at it is just a testament to the people, in spite of that silly ass movie. But in any case check out the 100 m sweep.

BEIJING--Shelly-Ann Fraser led the other two Jamaicans to win all the women's 100 meters medals on Sunday evening at the Beijing Olympic Games.

Fraser clocked her personal best in 10.78 seconds before Sherone Simpson and Kerron Stewart finished, both in 10.98, and shared the silver.

Simpson said, "We made history. Just like yesterday Bolt set a new world record. We are all great athletes and I'm very excited about the tremendous achievement we've made for our country."

"Today's victory boosts my confidence to win the 200m. We will also do well in the 4x100m. I believe we can beat the Americans," she said.

Commenting on Jamaica's medals sweep, Stewart said, "I don't know if I should cry, smile, jump. I think this is a fabulous thing for the three of us to win the medals and for Jamaica to get one, two, three. What else can you say?"

The Jamaican squad smashed the American fleet joined by Lauryn Williams, Muna Lee and Torri Edwards, who were hot candidates for the title before the Games.

The Jamaican women replayed the legend created by their countryman Usain Bolt on Saturday night on the same track in the Olympic main venue. Bolt sliced the men's 100m world record by three hundredths of a second to a stunning 9.69 seconds.

Great job ladies!
-China Daily.com

'Cause I Like MONEY, Bitch!

2008-08-14T16:37:00.012-04:00

Let me take a moment out to discuss our friend, Jay Z. There are a few schools of thought when it comes to Hov and the first of which, or the one that I hear most frequently is that he is the undeniable messiah of rap and if he puts out some shit that you may feel is trash, its because ~~you are "too simple minded to appreciate the complexit~~ you're just a fuckin hater, HI HATER, STOP HATIN ON HOV!!" *gnarling noises, foaming at the mouth* Then there is the side that is still sour about the Great Nas - Jay Rap War of 2001 that persisted throughout the first half of the millennium according to Wikipedia (does it not tickle you that this type of shit is in something that calls itself an encyclopedia? Love it!) They feel that Nas was the undisputed victor because 'ether' is now a common colloquialism while 'super ugly' hasn't quite caught on as well, or whatever jackass rationale they have to decide that. I have my own opinions about which blows were the heaviest, and when I develop the courage to address things analytically and thoughtfully I will provide a post on it, but I think we can all agree on who came out on top financially, Sir Camel of Brooklyn doth reign supreme (sorry I been watchin Elizabeth I on HBO again and that shit is superugly, yow!).

In any case, it goes without saying that Jay-Z has been the People's Champion of hip hop for quite sometime now, and barring the way Kingdom Come put a lot of his fans to sleep there are still tons of people that still want to hear from Mr. Carter, myself included. So when that Shade 45 interview hit the net, and the news that the Blueprint 3 was on its way came out I was excited, but apprehensive, and I found some of my apprehensions were justified when I heard Dope Boy Fresh (Jockin Jay-Z).

Jockin Jay-Z (Dope Boy Fresh) - Jay-Z

So I forced myself to give this song a couple of listens because quite frankly the first time I heard it it left a sour taste in my mouth and left me with this question: Yeezy produced this? What the hell is going on boys? The beat is just not what it is in my opinion and the hook is lazy to me. The beat sounds like a watered down, poor man's version of '99 Problems'. That was a song that utilized Jay's flow over hard guitar and every verse mowed through the track in a way that made you feel like you were strapped to the front of a bus barreling through the NY in Jigga's mind, making occasional stops to show you some shit of varying importance. This song doesn't inspire any of that. It has an old school feel but a repetitive sound, and Jay does manage to flow reasonably well but its all dragged down by the beat which has no force, no surprises and ultimately leading me to hope that he doesn't let us down with this album...whenever it decides to come out. I know he's a millionaire and he's allowed to do different things if that's where the breeze takes him, but some of the verses he's tacked on to other artists songs have left me scratching my head.

Put On (Official Remix) (Feat. Jay-Z) - Young Jeezy

I mean his verse on the end of Jeezy's Put On Remix was either an inside joke or a grave misjudgement. First he talks about wanting the T-Pain vocoder on his voice but then at the last minute declares he doesn't need it and dives into a min or so of rambling moronically about putting various things in various places. Maybe I'm being harsh but I expect better considering Ye's powerhouse of a verse, maybe he should have left the 'T-Pain' as he calls it, on his voice and that would have distracted me from that ridiculous ass verse. When Kanye raps slow and deliberately it works for him because that's who he is. His rap bravado has always had an undercurrent of insecurity and sincerity. So when he enunciates its meaningful, and at the very least interesting, because the presumption is that you wouldn't really listen to him otherwise. Jay is not that. Maybe there is an insecure and vulnerable Jay that we don't know about but those themes don't play to his current stage persona so his spaced out flow on the end of this track sounds at best like mimicry and at worst like fuckin retarded garbage that I don't ever want to hear again coming from between the big ass lips of my beloved Jay-Z. In any case i'm going to keep hope alive for this Blueprint 3 and pray that Jay was just joshing when he talked about handing the throne over to Lil Weezy.

Bonus!

2008-08-13T17:30:00.002-04:00

And because I dig this song as well, here ya go..

Morningwood - Sugarbaby

Did You Realize...

2008-08-13T17:10:00.008-04:00

Champion from videos222 on Vimeo.

Kanye West - Champion

Yeah so I am a bit late on this one..as you'll come to find will be a pattern for me. But this is the new video for Yeezy's 'Champion' off of Graduation. Basically our hero Ye has ambitions of winning the gold in this pseudo Olympics contest. Alas it is only a dream and he must train and endure in order to make it, because as a puppet he is discriminated against. According to the intro to this video, black men especially hate puppets. Can I also say 'yeaaahh buddy' in reference to the spandex clad track stars parading around in this clip, mmm mmm mm (...its been a min).The video is very cute and between this and that song 'Sugarbaby' by Morningwood I really want my own puppet. Like seriously after I hit publish post I'm going to go Google whether or not I can make that happen. These both came out at the same time too, like two puppet music videos out of nowhere..hmm I wonder if Crank Yankers is having some kind of closeout sale going? Cause I'm down.

In Memoriam

2008-08-11T22:48:00.005-04:00

Mr. Bernie Mac and Mr. Isaac hayes, two of the baddest muthafuckas on the planet have passed away this weekend and my stone heart was moved. I understand death is all a part of that noble process, that circle of life. But when great characters in our collective influence pass on, it makes me very concerned about what legacy will be left with our generation. These men were one of a kind, but can anyone think of anyone on their way to doing anything that comes close? I hope theres something on the horizon.

...Ask me what?

2008-08-08T16:37:00.012-04:00

So I have friends (I know, I can't believe it either) who are daily frustrated by the wasted potential they sit across from (meaning me). So whilst I was bitching at one of my homegirls I demanded that if she wanted to see more from my blog shes going to have to co-author this shit so I can keep my momentum going. I told her to send me topics. She's a journalist so I thought she would send me news blurbs, current events, pop culture gossip, or helloo music related topics. After like a week of asking this broad emails me some 'Ask Annie' type shit and tells me to work with it. So I shall, for it is yet two hours till the raven crows to herald the end of my workday, and ye behold I am very bored. Lets see if I'm any good at this...

First Question

My boyfriend found my vibrator and now wants me to get rid of it. He says he doesn't see a point in me keeping it any longer since we've been exclusively dating for 8 months. I love him, but I love my vibrator too. I mean I barely use it, but I like to keep it around, ya know...just in case. Do you think he's overreacting or am I just being selfish?

My first question is are you even serious with this question? Like seriously, this question is like some Degrassi/ As Told by Ginger...ugh.. I'll answer it anyway, even though Katt Williams has answered it more eloquently than I ever could. If your man is worried about some bullshit like that, then I suggest you stop dealing with bitch ass ~~niggas~~ persons of various ethnic origins. What in the world is selfish about the ability to please yourself, if anything its generous because it gives him the opportunity to take the night off. If he's that paranoid about being able to please you then maybe he's not and if that's the case he better make sure you got batteries on hand because when that toy fails you may be tempted to see what the next dude is working with (Note: This website does not promote adultery...but it totally understands).

Jerry Springer 'Final Thought'
In reality, you can and you can't answer this question simply because you haven't explained why he doesn't like the vibrator, does he fear the competition? does he think that it means he's not doing his job? does he think that your 'just in case' rationale for keeping it signifies that you aren't very invested in the relationship and want to keep the device on hand in case you want to leave him? does he think its a sin for a young lady to own a portable pocket bust it baby?

Each of these questions prompts a different specific response but if you only wanna know whether you should ditch the vibe my answer is an emphatic 'Hell to the Naw' (mine are in a bulletproof safe). I just wanted to know the specifics so I could better explain to you how to tell this young gentleman to go fuck himself while you retain the right to do the same.

Resurrection...I hope

2008-08-08T16:35:00.002-04:00

Awe man, wouldn't it have been crazy if I had died? Anyways my last post seems to have been over a year ago. But you'll soon discover I liken myself to President Bush when it comes to responsibilities..let's go.

I love this nappy headed ho.

2007-05-07T12:12:00.000-04:00

I went to the Amy Winehouse concert on Saturday at the Electric Factory in Philly. If you were there I was one of the tall pretty broads in the front blocking your view. Anyways, as expected she blew our minds with her voice, and satisfied any and everyone who showed up to see a spectacle, teetering drunkenly about the stage, not a note off key.

One opener. Three words. Patrick. Muthafuckin'. Wolf.

This glamonster poured out all over the stage in a homoerotic farm boy outfit, fueled by ~~heroin~~ love, and urging the audience to 'join in togetherness' as we gazed uncomfortably at his crotch area (I could write a whole blog about what was going on in his shorts. The term 'sticky situation' comes to mind.) I have never heard of this fag in my life, but that shit was fantastic. Caterwauling, histrionics, glitter everywhere, i'm officially amped. Then he whispers goodbye to everyone and flutters offstage in a trail of sparkles.

Then, lights dim, instruments tune up, and out trots a pony on spindly legs in denim cutoffs and a wifebeater, tatted up, and drowning in piles and piles of weave. Absolutely magical. She killed it, nervous at first but then she got into it, after some liquor was in her, where it all went, i've no idea. She has to be 48 lbs soaking wet, and with that ridiculous ass hair on. I'm glad I got to see her because at the rate she's going homegirl won't be here for me to love and mock for much longer. Yet and still, I love her ghetto ass.

I feel like slappin somebody today...

2007-05-06T22:47:00.002-04:00

The Don Imus-fueled controversy over misogynistic rap lyrics surrounds Ebony magazine’s recent decision to pull rapper Ludacris from the cover of its June issue on "the New Black Fathers" and replace him with actor, Boris Kodjoe, reports Journal-isms. "Something has changed in America in the last few weeks," Bryan Monroe, editorial director of Ebony and Jet magazines, told Journal-isms, without disclosing the identity of the rapper. As president of the National Association of Black Journalists, Monroe led the movement to have Imus fired. "I think the media is being called to account in these areas," Monroe said. There is an opportunity to "transfer the conversation around language, race, inclusiveness and diversity," as he said in his NABJ president's column. --[Source]

This isn't exactly current news, but then again I never promised anything like that in this blog, however it's current enough for me to 'feel some type of way' about it. I can see where Ebony is coming from on this (from a business perspective) but the move really doesn't jive with my sense of morality. Luda says alot of innapropriate things but to remove him from the cover in a father figure issue is pretty cold-blooded to me. [soapbox] In my opinion the average new black father was raised on hip hop and would relate more to Ludacris, someone who somehow supposedly personifies everything thats "wrong" with black people these days, then sissy ass Boris Kodjoe. I say ho, Luda says ho. I think i'm a decent person, he's probably a decent father. My logic trumps all, and I demand that those Ebony stop actin like Bill O'Reilly and Oprah give a damn about their raggedy ass magazine and put Luda back on the cover. [/soapbox] Or not, I don't even read that magazine. But the gesture would be nice. I guess I just don't like the idea of criticizing the average black person, black men specifically. Yes, there are problems, but can't they get a break, a pat on the back every now and then? Dag.

Swing, swing

2007-05-02T23:52:00.002-04:00

Nostalgia. When I was growing up it always sounded like a strange word for such a vague emotion, like it was better suited for a brand of coffee or a drug company. Needless to say kids are dumb. But that rambling leads me to this hopefully more coherent one about what I find to be one of the most effective nostalgia inducing genre of music aside from Saturday morning cartoon theme songs: New Jack Swing. What’s that you say? Well, it’s basically the urban music that was churned out in the early nineties. It was that period of time when hip hop and R&B started to become more commercial and music became darker and more sexualized, or should I say “freaky”, since every artist during that period had that in the title of one of their songs or at least the chorus. Artists still do that today from time to time but back then, it wasn’t just “freaky” it was “freeaaakaaayyy” I think the difference is evident. There was a fun, almost haunting, almost poppy edginess to the sound of it that I can recall left me feeling uncomfortable, frightened and excited all at once. No wonder it fit so well into the ‘superhero’ films of my childhood. Lest we forget, there’s no Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters, Batman without New Jack. Basically this is all coming from a specific place, some random circumstances have been reintroducing this music into my life and the way it seems so familiar yet dated is something that makes it enough of an oddity to be my momentary obsession. So while I was looking for some more information on this topic that apparently only I and this Seth Price guy care about, I came across this article. I decided to share. Yay.

Edit: Here's a link to a comprehensive New Jack Swing site for all the fans that are interested.
Link

Journalistic Approach to New Jack Swing

Seth Price, 2002

Adapted from an article published in Sound Collector Audio Review, 2003

It’s clear that the wound is still fresh, for, if it were otherwise, the ghouls would have arrived long ago, as they did with Northern Soul, Miami Bass, and “electro.” What a time you chose to be born!

The short-lived musical genre known as New Jack Swing is just old enough to be vaguely embarrassing. It hasn’t attained classic status, and may never do so. Why is it that some styles pass directly into legend, while others remain trapped in an awkward limbo?

It’s important to stress that, like most conservative pop, New Jack Swing depended heavily on producer svengalis. When we talk about the eighties, the specter of production control looms over all hit music, dance music, electronic music, beat music. A good example is the Pointer Sisters’ 1983 album Break Out, in which different working units are responsible for each track, and the achievement is that the product is coherent at all, let alone a classic record.

New Jack Swing emerged in the latter half of the decade, its incipient arrival signaled by Bobby Brown’s 1986 split from New Edition, the hit group created by Maurice Starr and Michael Jonzun. The genre reached a high point around 1990 with the international success of Bell Biv Devoe’s single “Poison.” By 1991 it was probably dead of overexposure, as signaled by the release of the film New Jack City, co-scripted by journalist Barry Michael Cooper, a producer of early electro pop under the name “Micronawts”, whom some say coined the term “New Jack Swing” in an article for The Village Voice. The same year saw the release of the Wreckx-n-Effects hit “New Jack Swing,” another possible source of the term. In any case, it seems clear that 1991’s mainstream press frenzy was symptomatic of the genre’s quick slide into irrelevance.

The sound could be described as an admixture of hip hop—at the time roughly produced, which wasn’t surprising, considering that albums were being turned out by nineteen year olds on cheap bedroom sampler kits—and the kind of music on which labels like Motown always depended, popular soul that relied on producers to midwife the product. It was an obvious match, and it still seems surprising that major labels took so long to catch on. In fact, the entire New Jack Swing venture can be seen as a producer’s grab for market share, a way to assimilate an obstreperous but commercially successful youngster into the secure, decades-old structures of popular black music. This sort of music at the time depended on being received as sexy, smooth, Adult. Lacking was anything “edgy,” which was a defining critical term in the 1990s, across media. Adult Urban Contemporary producers decided that, in the interests of survival, they’d better incorporate hip-hop rhythms, samples, and production techniques. If this indeed was some kind of strategy, today’s charts demonstrate its success. Motown itself, through streetwise marketing and production, found new life in the 1990s with prime New Jack Swing acts like Another Bad Creation and Boyz II Men, the latter of which is, according to the RIAA, the most lucrative R&B group in history.

The New Jack style proved tremendously popular, spanning disparate genres and forms. Its influence could be seen in movies like House Party, rap groups like Heavy D or Nice & Smooth, catch-up albums by established stars like Michael Jackson, and fashions such as towering high-top fades, single-suspender overalls, and baseball caps dangling fresh price tags. The style stretched as far as Japan, where artists like Zoo and LL Brother carried the torch. “If you take a band that’s good, you bust it up and sell three times as many records.” This was Devo’s critique of what they saw as rampant in rock ’n’ roll, and New Jack Swing honed the strategy, with popular artists going on to become producers rather than simply solo acts. New Edition gave Michael Bivins experience that he’d use to groom ABC and Boyz II Men: the family seed must be perpetuated. The formula was copied back into hip hop by artists like Dr. Dre and EPMD.

But what is it that makes this music “New Jack Swing”, as opposed to something else, say, “up-tempo R&B”? Distinctions are hard to make, as it’s a style with an as-yet unwritten history. Bell Biv DeVoe suggests a general definition in a liner-note credo describing their own music: “mentally hip hop, smoothed out on the R&B tip with a pop feel appeal to it.” It’s important to note that this definition presents hip-hop as the heart of the sound. After all, one of the premises of New Jack Swing was its “edge”: New Edition was a saccharine boy band, and Bobby Brown, in leaving, wanted to assert a more mature image. It was a strategy adopted by many other performers, including Janet Jackson, not to mention the remaining members of New Edition. The style was most clearly expressed in the particular sound crafted by producers like Teddy Riley, who is acknowledged as master and originator. While Riley’s breakthrough was Keith Sweat’s 1987 LP Make It Last Forever, he really hit his stride a year later with the trio Guy, one of the most influential bands of the period, and he went on to remix or produce literally hundreds of tracks.

For a supposedly street-wise mode, however, the music itself is fairly tame. This is due partly to fat record contracts, which demanded high production values, which meant increasingly professional electronic studios and a clean, airless sound that made no attempt to conceal its digital origin. As with electrofunk, the goal was the crispest highs and the heaviest bass. While in some music’s samples are chinks in the armor through which grit, poor recording, and vinyl-crackle enter, here they were employed as rhythmic punctuation rather than as loops, and were in any case often generated in the studio rather than appropriated. Tracks were actually composed, often by producers with extensive musical training, and synth sounds came straight out of the box, with little of the knob-twiddling that House and Techno brought to electronic music. It was a voracious, synthetic mode, seeking to fold in hard beats and cuts, breathy vocals, chimes and bells, swelling strings, sexual innuendo and declarations of love. Rapping was kept to a minimum, sometimes contained in bridges and breaks, and overshadowed by harmonizing, crooning, wooing. The term “swing” referred to the rhythm, which often employed a combination of straight 8ths, 16^th note shuffles, and 16th-note swing patterns (in Europe, the music was sometimes known as Swingbeat, and this name survives in the Netherlands, which is a stronghold of New Jack Swing fandom, inexplicably).

What are we to make of this movement? It may be that it’s deeply reactionary, but there’s something interesting about the low regard in which it’s now held. You can trace a cyclical pattern: every ten years or so, up rises a dumb, catchy mode that will eventually come to sound like death. “Jungle” or “Drum & Bass” could see its turn come up, for example, although those forms never reached critical levels of popularity, at least in North America. Ultimately, these comparisons are fun but absurd: you might juxtapose white acts like Sudden Impact or New Kids on the Block with the Brothers Gibb, or even with Steely Dan, whose notoriously antiseptic sound has affinities with that of New Jack Swing. If we take a genre that’s even closer to us in time, like Grunge, it’s clear that New Jack Swing’s current shit status doesn’t come simply from the passage of time. Grunge, while quickly co-opted, grew out of an apparently independent community, whereas New Jack Swing was, from the start, large-format, cash-making, eyes-on-the-charts. Giving such control to the technicians yields a sound overly indebted to then-fashionable production tools, whether it was digital reverb in the early eighties, or the auto-tuner today. What is off putting is the pathos of the obsolete product. It made a sacrifice so that we could move on with a clear conscience. Pop cannibalized any useful parts, and ditched the corpse. It seems that music arising from a community dies with some dignity, whereas producers like Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis have long since moved on to the next sound; surely they haven’t shed a tear for New Jack Swing.

"Aside from Sammy you're my best black Jew"

2007-03-19T01:02:00.001-04:00

Although I fear becoming a cliche so soon in my foray into this shit I feel the need to express how much I'm digging this Amy Winehouse broad. One journalist described her as "a dark beauty with a slightly equine face" another described her as a "street version of Joss Stone." I can't help but feel that the second doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about, but then again I don't know that much about what Joss Stone besides that she's getting her swirl on with Raphael Saadiq and has a red afro, perhaps an homage to Chakha or Ronald McDonald. In any case can I pause to tip my hat to that first guy? He said she looks like a horse... a pretty horse. I love it.
Well I'm aware she's already creating quite a buzz for herself so if she needs introduction go to the wikipedia page and sample some of the tracks I've lovingly made available or peep the video that's been playing all over apparently (my location only provides basic cable, not cocaine cable). Like so many others I was minding my business and listening to More Fish a la Ghostface when I hear this track 'You Know I'm No Good'. This singer had a distinct voice, that matched Ghost's style while he rambled on over the beat in typical exotic ass Toney fashion, that reminded me of Cherchez LaGhost. So I decided to look her up and *cough* located her latest album back when it wasn't available in the US. Yes its a send up of 60's R&B but the style in which she's singing isn't where her appeal lies. She can sing over samples of 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' or 'Made U Look'. Obviously an added bonus to this girl for me is that she's a hip hop chick and digs Nas (her song Me and Mr. Jones is about trying to get to a Nas concert).
What I'm hoping is the appeal about her to everyone is that she's got an honesty to her that makes her refreshing. When you have plastic soulless debutante Beyonce to represent the state of R&B you jump on any alternative that's less polished and captures the broke down beauty of that kind of music. I think that the tide is trying to move away from cookie cutter (wishful thinking?) with their almost unexpected embracing of ghetto ass Jennifer Hudson (who I also love).
I'm not usually a modern R&B chick just because its generally all too pretty and pop-ish, all of which is fine and definitely has its place, but I just can't relate to it. Amy I can relate to, because she's fucking crazy. All of her songs are basically about the same damn guy and she has a general sense of being rambunctious to scandalous to brash and collapsing that makes me think she hangs out with a lot of black people (Side: Yes, I am that ignorant...yet probably accurate.) In any case the girl goes through it and she lets you hear it and see it. I don't know that much about her public persona besides that she beats bitches up and stay drankin but when she talks about her music theres a sincerity that's simple but refreshing. I don't know how much longevity she has... shes one of those people who I'm trying to see in concert soon because there's a distinct possibility that her body will be found in a hotel bathroom somewhere one of these days... and she also has the limitation that shes young and most of her subject matter is about her affair with a married? man, but as a flavor of the moment she speaks directly to the vulgar sinner woman in me and I like it.

Bonus: Know You Now (Live from the Astoria)

Back to Black lyrics

a view to the kill

2007-03-16T13:29:00.000-04:00

He's sweet tongued and sensual, sensible and he wants me.
Heavy melody drifting down resting on my lips, eyelids, denser than air.
The timbre makes me swoon, its all honey bass and bass guitar and classical piano.
His charm is laced with this vulnerability, it's potent and it's the kind of openhearted sincerity that brazenly begs annihilation, borders on self-destruction.
I think I'm in trouble.
His desire makes me tremble in my armor as I realize my sirens and war drums are useless now that he has a taste for it, all of it, fruit, body, mind, soul, life, nectar, skin, and seeds.
He will devour me until I break, until I learn to harmonize.
Saccharine nothings are light and harmless, carried away by wayward breezes.
But these wine soaked riffs, these rhythms reverberate down in the deep.
So thick, you can still smell some of the notes on your hair long after the song is over.
It's not lovers rock and chocolate candy anymore, its soul metal creme de cacao mixed with gin, hard liquor.
We take shots. We take shots.
Intoxicated off the rhythm and bliss..revel in blues..so fcking wasted, and we only pause to blaze.

In any case I figured including the piece that gave this abomination its title would be fitting. Later on I think i'll play Lit. major and break my own work down line for line like a dramatic cunt. Muahz.

Somniloquy

2007-03-15T20:32:00.000-04:00

Its difficult to decide what direction to go with, in anything that ends with the option 'Publish' glaring beneath it. But since I have already opted to have one of these things I suppose that makes me one of those blogging douchebags and any pretense of humility should have left me whilst I began to set this page up. In any case i'm writing this as though to myself (which is the case anyway i'm sure) and i'll start from there somewhere along the lines I'll pick up some kind of muse and devote a consistent portion of this to that.

The Blog

2006-01-11T13:38:00.001-05:00

Rhythm & Bliss is a music and nonsense blog.
The author is a young woman trying to keep her head above water, making it anyway that she can.
I'm in college, so I write papers and read all day long. Therefore, there shall be none of that intelligent shit in here. Maybe, once in a while by accident but that's definitely not my intention. The Rhythm in the title is a reference to the music, and the Bliss stands for Ignorance.
If you were curious enough about me to make your way to this post then bless your heart.

So, you may...
Ask a question, make a comment, make a suggestion, trade links, tell me I suck, tell me whatever. Or do it all on the low like a loser by observing me anonymously and browsing the stalkerazzi section.