Grammy Awards 2009

Here we go again. It's the 51st annual Grammy Awards and i'm going to liveblog it. Mostly because that's the only way I can sit and watch the whole thing. I'm going to be drinking tonight. Which was my mistake last time I tried to liveblog. I was stone sober. Big Mistake. But let's go...As we proceed!

8:01 - U2 doin their U2 sht. I wanna like then more than I do but only some of their songs are jams to me. Maybe I lack culture.
8:03 - However this 'let me in the sound' breakdown is kinda dope. This song might be winning me over.
8:04 - Whitney looks ...she looks pretty good considering. Still sounds crazy.
8:06 - Awwe, it seems like Whitney's lost her voice. I heard that show she did a few months back where she sounded a mess but I was hoping it wasn't permanent.
8:07 - J. Hud accepts the award for best R&B. I think i'm gonna tear up with her on this one. I love her.
8:08 - Duane Johnson..remember when he was the Rock? Also..remember when he was too sexy for words? Now he's treading in Shemar Moore territory.
8:10 - Justin Timberlake is on already, filling in for Chris Brown's assault and battery punk ass. Yeesh, the day before the Grammy's Chris? You couldn't wait? Let me stop. That type of sht is never appropriate. I knew somethin was wrong with him...remember??
8:21 - Mmm Simon Baker. introducing Coldplay performing Lost! which is a pretty hot banger from Coldplay of all people.
8:23 - Aaannd they proceed to destroy any love for this song I had while on stage. Jay puts on this dumb drunk flow that only sounded hot under the congo drums and guitar production of the album recording.
8:25 - Their performing the Ipod commercial song. It sounds good but the performance looks mad goofy.
8:28 - I kinda like Carrie Underwood's white trash steez even if its made up. Her getup is kinda Mad Max though, and not in a good way.
8:32 - Sheryl Crow and Leanne Rhimes. I like Leeanne's dress but thas the only positive thing I'll say right about now. I only ever think about Country music when watching the Grammy's and then I remind myself to listen to it more and forget again. Maybe next year.
8:42 - Wow Al Green again. He ain't even know he was going on stage tonight
8:42 - Coldplay wins for Viva La Vida. They gon let purple coat talk. He acknowledges the Sgt. Pepper look. Thank the Lord for the self aware
8:45 - Kid Rock takes the stage...I don't know how he's still around. That 'Sweet Home Alabama' riff moves units though. It sells records, pizza, KFC. You can't beat it.
8:54 - the Cyrus is on with Taylor Swift. This is cute cause I don't think I could deal with Miley on her own.
8:58 - The two least known people in the running win it. I knew it! I'm happy for them though. I hope they get off the stage in a timely manner.
9:00 - Jennifer Hudson takes the stage, acapella at that. She looks very nice in this sequined black dress. Her wig is wiggy though, but we're not gonna talk about that because her vocals are killing it.
9:09 - This lady just compare the Jonas Brothers to Cain and Abel. Aaaaallriight.
9:10 - Why do they get to perform with Stevie Wonder? This is my jam though I must admit. I guess this is my punishment for being an Nsync fan back in the day..
9:12 - This must be mashup night. They are performing superstitious..they all sound constipated. I can't tell if Stevie is constipated as well or making fun of them. Probably both..
9:15 - Wow time warp, Blink 182 comes back on stage to announce they're getting back together. They get points for mocking the fuckery that was just onstage.
9:16 - Coldplay gets the award. called themselves a limestone rockband...wock wocka...
9:23 - Craig Ferguson is funny tonight. But I will never forgive him for seguing to Katy Perry. I'm not a fan.
9:26 - She's finally off the stage and now its Kaye and Estelle and Ye's fro mullet. This performance looks cheap and tacky and underproduced. Shiny suits on a red circle. The recession is really getting to people. "Look at this pea coat tell me he's broke" BROKE!
9:29 - Then they gotta turn around and present the next award for best New Artist. Yayy Adele won. I dig her but I was rooting for Jasmine. She's got one of those working class Brit accents like some of my fam (we international, yo!)
9:36 - Morgan Freeman takes the stage. Now theres a man that knows how to put his shoe on a woman and get away with it. That wasnt tasteful at all but I won't delete it.
9:39 - Kenny Chesney...taking a big sip out my cup right now.
9:40 - Diddy does not give a shit. White tee, shiny shirt, sad gold chain. He looks like he's dressed to get the laundry.
9:41 - Robert Plant and them is winnin again, just to piss everyone off i'm sure.
9:48 - Gueen Latifah looks sexy tonight. Blinking at this segue from the Rat Pack to the Rap Pack
9:50 - Wowww at M.I.A. being gigantic in a polkadot bathing suit. This black and white filter is killing me though. FAIL!!
9:54 - Kate Beckinsale saying something...introduces Sir Paul McCartney who won't go away for some reason.
10:04 - Jack Black ...we've reached MTV VMA award status. Jazz musician Hank Jones gets a Lifetime Achievement Award
10:05 - John Mayer gets the award. Talks short and fast, but he has anxiety issues so he gets a pass. The Grammy's nominated Kid Rock for some reason.
10:07 - LL Cool J and Jay Mohr come out together cause they both got J's in their names. Jay proceeds to amuse himself and no one else.
10:07 - Sugarland and Adele take the stage. Performing a song about being the 'other woman' I love those kinds of songs. I like anything that explores the complications of love.
10:11 - Adele takes the stage. Repping for white Team Chunk in a positive way. Finally a representative that isn't a horrid mess. w00t! Also the two sounded beautiful. I gotta look into Sugarland.
10:19 - Gwyneth Bland Paltrow introduces Radiohead who apparently are still on some other shit. I enjoy when they are on some other shit. Listening.
10:22 - Radiohead is rockin the shit tonight. I love it.
10:28 - Samuel L. Jackson takes the stage in his Do the Right thing steez and starts yelling at the audience immediately.
10:29 - T.I. and Justin Timberlake take the stage. Meh.
10:33 - Wolf Blitzers hippie brother takes the stage and mentions that Obama won two Grammy's. GoBama.
10:37 - Now he reveals hes just kissing Obama's nuts to get a Secretary of the Arts position instated in the White House. Politricks.
10:38 - Sweet sweet Smokey Robinson takes the stage to give the Four Tops the Lifetime Achievement award.
10:39 - Fake Four Tops come out consisting of the remaining member, Smokey, Jamie Foxx, and Ne-Yo. This is my song and they not ruinin it.
10:47 - Josh Groban comes on..thank God he's not singing tv show theme songs again. Introduces Neil Diamand
10:48 - Neil Diamond looks better than he did the last time I seent him. My mother is somewhere throwin her panties at the tv.
10:55- My bad I tuned out for a bit there. They did the Memoriam dead faces reel. Then BB King and John Mayer performed a tribute to Bo Diddley
11:02 - Gary Sinese ...still looks like a robot clone. He's about to introduce Weezy and Robin Thicke and friends
11:03 - They doin 'Tie My Hands'.
11:07 - They follow it up by bringing out some New Orleans greats. Well performed and well orchestrated. A thousand brownie points to Weezy
11:09 - T. pain and Will.I.Am present the nominees for best rap album. Embarrass themselves.
11:10 - Lil Wayne done won his ass a Grammy award.
11:10 - There's a good boy. Keep it simple. His family looks nice.
11:18 - Blah blah blah Zoe Deschanel..so that's how you pronounce her name.
11:18 - Robert Plant and 'em are performing. Let's hear if this is actually what it is and nobody knew. This song would go well with a nervous breakdown and some LSD.
11:23 - Green Day shows up promising tobring sweet release in the form of the final Grammy and the end of the show.
11:24 - HA! Grammy of the year goes to Robert Plant and friends. Well hell. Goodnight everybody.
11:27 - Stevie gets on again to close the show down.

Later kiddies, i'm gonna go get housed!