Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Obama Booty Call

The President-Elect is Barack Obama and as you may have already assumed I'm pleased. I won't bother to do a 'How does it feel?' blog because quite frankly if you've been watching any news channel you've seen the 'crying-black-people-from-all-around-the-world' reel ad nauseum and you already know how I felt.
So, I'd like to take a moment to discuss other matters this afternoon.

Is anyone else familiar with the phenomenon of the Obama Booty Call? or Obooty Call?
Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Someone trying to get at you using the pretense of inspiration and political minded discourse. Maybe, its just my isolated experience but in light of recent events I have been inundated with texts, instant messages, and phone calls from folks I haven't spoke to in years. Most of them are sharing in the excitement. Some of whom are trying to parlay the overwhelming emotions of this era of change and hope into inspiring previously conservative or reluctant ass into bold, bipartisan directions.
Trickin with Hope.

It can come in a variety of forms but it typically begins with Person X* contacting you out of the blue and using the election as an excuse for the interruption. For me, it began election day, getting texts from randoms I had long forgotten about or possibly never knew.
For the purpose of exposition here are some examples of several types of Obooty calls that may or may not be copy and pasted or retyped verbatim. *smh*

.:The Text:.
_: "The Streets Keep Callin'.... I Gotta Change My Number":_

Person X: Ayoo, shawty. Wuts good?

me: ?

Person X: Me, i just voted. U vote?

me: Hell yeah i voted. Yo, who is this?

Person X: Daaaaag ma. its like that? dis ******, yo what u doin this weekend?

me: Ohh...prolly something else

Person X: Huh? but yo get at me. we should do somethin, ta celebrate.
*****The Block Obama '08*****
Git that guap. G unit, D-Block, Birdgang, Dipset, Ay!
text sent via Sidekick.

I discovered there are also exotic variations on this type of text.

_:Political Sex Text:_

Person X: We did it. Obama is the man.

me: Yeah I know, i'm so excited. i can't even believe it

Person X: I know you're excited, I can tell. I can believe it.

me: it was crazy though. I thought it would be closer.

Person X: yeah you can't always tell.. I mean the campaign was so long and so hard...

me: yea

Person X: yeah it was real intense.

me: mmhmm

Person X: But he just kept pushing forward. building so much momentum. he wasn't gonna stop. shit, he prolly couldn't stop even if he wanted to.
they thought they had him when they brought in that white girl

me: Palin?

Person X: yeah. but they should have known a brother could handle that chick. i mean hes too cool to let some jawn like that phase him.

me: Thas true

Person X: Hes very orally skilled. we have alot in common.

me: ...yea

Person X: But toward the end tension kept rising and the polls were tightening. I almost couldn't take it. But i knew my man would come on top. How did it feel for you when it happened?

me: wow, i mean i was just overwhelmed, i was crying a lil bit

Person X: Mmm, I bet I'll have you crying

me: what?

Person X: What you doin tonite?

.:The Instant Message:.
There were quite a bit more of these than texts but I'll just post a few examples...

This is from a random whom I had the good fortune of eventually losing contact with.... Only for Obama to return him to my IM window. He hit me up about an hour before the announcement pretending to be inspired and inquiring about my life. Then 11 pm rolled around....

Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008


This next one, I'm ashamed to say, is from an ex-boy, who after hitting me up with some of the above mentioned Obooty call dialogue was apparently inspired by Obama to redistribute my wealth.

*SMH* 2008

This last one isn't technically a booty call but it's a little election night correspondence that left me feeling satisfied. The character in question is the individual from a previous post who was attempting to convince me that Obama is the antichrist. I mean even if he is, so what?

Luxuriate in the deliciousness, bitch.

The commonality to all of these Obooty calls is that they leave me wanting the real thing. Who wouldn't turn Lewinsky for the 44th President (Sorry, Michelle)? Intelligent, terrible dancer, tragic mullato corniness/sexiness. I'd respond to a late night smiley from him anyday.
I need ;-P I can believe in.

So, you bookworm negroes better step your collective game up and parlay the former Senator from Chicago's success with the ladies into a revolution instead of lazily tacking parts of his speeches on to your pick up lines. Maybe now instead of these young boys pretending to be hood they'll pretend to be college educated to get some trim.
FELLAS, START BRINGING YOUR DEGREE TO THE CLUB. Cause, I want to see it. I want to see it real bad.

*I'll give him the moniker person X because this person usually is an Ex of some sort. Ex-boyfriend, Ex-friend, Ex-jumpoff, Ex-used to buy me sht cause he thought he was gettin the drawls, etc,. I assume Person X is male but I'm sure theres some enterprising females getting they Obama Booty Call on.

**names were changed to protect the ignorant and the irrelevant.