The Obama Booty Call

The President-Elect is Barack Obama and as you may have already assumed I'm pleased. I won't bother to do a 'How does it feel?' blog because quite frankly if you've been watching any news channel you've seen the 'crying-black-people-from-all-around-the-world' reel ad nauseum and you already know how I felt.
So, I'd like to take a moment to discuss other matters this afternoon.

Is anyone else familiar with the phenomenon of the Obama Booty Call? or Obooty Call?
Oh, you know what I'm talking about. Someone trying to get at you using the pretense of inspiration and political minded discourse. Maybe, its just my isolated experience but in light of recent events I have been inundated with texts, instant messages, and phone calls from folks I haven't spoke to in years. Most of them are sharing in the excitement. Some of whom are trying to parlay the overwhelming emotions of this era of change and hope into inspiring previously conservative or reluctant ass into bold, bipartisan directions.
Trickin with Hope.

It can come in a variety of forms but it typically begins with Person X* contacting you out of the blue and using the election as an excuse for the interruption. For me, it began election day, getting texts from randoms I had long forgotten about or possibly never knew.
For the purpose of exposition here are some examples of several types of Obooty calls that may or may not be copy and pasted or retyped verbatim. *smh*

.:The Text:.

_: "The Streets Keep Callin'.... I Gotta Change My Number":_

Person X: Ayoo, shawty. Wuts good?

me: ?

Person X: Me, i just voted. U vote?

me: Hell yeah i voted. Yo, who is this?

Person X: Daaaaag ma. its like that? dis ******, yo what u doin this weekend?

me: Ohh...prolly something else

Person X: Huh? but yo get at me. we should do somethin, ta celebrate.
*****The Block Obama '08*****
Git that guap. G unit, D-Block, Birdgang, Dipset, Ay!
text sent via Sidekick.

I discovered there are also exotic variations on this type of text.

_:Political Sex Text:_

Person X: We did it. Obama is the man.

me: Yeah I know, i'm so excited. i can't even believe it

Person X: I know you're excited, I can tell. I can believe it.

me: it was crazy though. I thought it would be closer.

Person X: yeah you can't always tell.. I mean the campaign was so long and so hard...

me: yea

Person X: yeah it was real intense.

me: mmhmm

Person X: But he just kept pushing forward. building so much momentum. he wasn't gonna stop. shit, he prolly couldn't stop even if he wanted to.
they thought they had him when they brought in that white girl

me: Palin?

Person X: yeah. but they should have known a brother could handle that chick. i mean hes too cool to let some jawn like that phase him.

me: Thas true

Person X: Hes very orally skilled. we have alot in common.

me: ...yea

Person X: But toward the end tension kept rising and the polls were tightening. I almost couldn't take it. But i knew my man would come on top. How did it feel for you when it happened?

me: wow, i mean i was just overwhelmed, i was crying a lil bit

Person X: Mmm, I bet I'll have you crying

me: what?

Person X: What you doin tonite?

.:The Instant Message:.
There were quite a bit more of these than texts but I'll just post a few examples...

This is from a random whom I had the good fortune of eventually losing contact with.... Only for Obama to return him to my IM window. He hit me up about an hour before the announcement pretending to be inspired and inquiring about my life. Then 11 pm rolled around....

Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008

NOTE THE TIME!!!

This next one, I'm ashamed to say, is from an ex-boy, who after hitting me up with some of the above mentioned Obooty call dialogue was apparently inspired by Obama to redistribute my wealth.

*SMH* 2008

This last one isn't technically a booty call but it's a little election night correspondence that left me feeling satisfied. The character in question is the individual from a previous post who was attempting to convince me that Obama is the antichrist. I mean even if he is, so what?

Luxuriate in the deliciousness, bitch.

The commonality to all of these Obooty calls is that they leave me wanting the real thing. Who wouldn't turn Lewinsky for the 44th President (Sorry, Michelle)? Intelligent, terrible dancer, tragic mullato corniness/sexiness. I'd respond to a late night smiley from him anyday.
I need ;-P I can believe in.

So, you bookworm negroes better step your collective game up and parlay the former Senator from Chicago's success with the ladies into a revolution instead of lazily tacking parts of his speeches on to your pick up lines. Maybe now instead of these young boys pretending to be hood they'll pretend to be college educated to get some trim.
FELLAS, START BRINGING YOUR DEGREE TO THE CLUB. Cause, I want to see it. I want to see it real bad.


*I'll give him the moniker person X because this person usually is an Ex of some sort. Ex-boyfriend, Ex-friend, Ex-jumpoff, Ex-used to buy me sht cause he thought he was gettin the drawls, etc,. I assume Person X is male but I'm sure theres some enterprising females getting they Obama Booty Call on.

**names were changed to protect the ignorant and the irrelevant.

America's Best Dance Crew '08

http://view.break.com/592648 - Watch more free videos

Obama and McCain - Battle Dance

Yeah, I think I've reached my exhaustion point on politics for this year. We're all boned either way. This video however is the stuff of fantasies and nightmares.

I'm going to have to announce McCain as the winner of this battle. Just because he brought in Sarah Palin who held down her G status and was poppin that ass like a bad chick. Not to mention Barack Obama WISH he could dance like that. I saw him callin himself tryna shake somethin on Ellen a while back. He could have benefited from a few more barbecues with Michelle's peoples.

Obama - 4 McCain - 1

Def Comedy Jam

McCain Roasts Obama
..ignore the propaganda at the end. McCain was funny but all that wasn't necessary.




Obama Roasts McCain


...neither of them wrote any of this shit but it was definitely funny. Funny thing is my verdict on their routines is identical to my opinion of the last debate. McCain made some good points, started off better than I expected but Obama performed a bit better even though he started off weaker, and he spoke more smoothly, and basically delivered.

Obama - 4 , McCain - 0

The Entire DNC in One Minute!

Yeah, so I, like many of you (including my dumbassed "Obama is the Antichrist" friend from a few posts ago,) have been watching the DNC enthused and mesmerized. If I were to rank the speeches as far as meaningfulness to me I would say.
1. Michelle Obama - strong, thoughtful woman, tugged on the heartstrings
2. Barack Obama - good as always, more attacky, and promisy
3. Hilary Clinton - I give her props for reigning it in and showing genuine support
4. Bill Clinton - Bill Clinton
5. Joe Biden - Beau Biden lolz

I don't really know what my criteria was for that particular sequence but that's just how I calls it.

I, like many of you (except my dumbassed Obama/Antichrist friend, who is mesmerized by her nerdy hotness)am bemused and horrified by Senator McCain's choice of Vice President. I like to write out the word Vice President when discussing Governor Sarah Palin, because I think it puts into perspective the fact that this broad would become the acting president in the unlikely event that a 73 year old former POW, dies in office. Alaska! And what frightens me is not that she was chosen but that theres a possibility she will win. I mean genuinely frightened. She has 5 kids, one still in diapers, she has never expressed any interest in even dealing with the responsibilities of a Vice President. It's like if I was chosen. And I can't even be trusted to update my site everyday (or know what day it is).

Update: The Scariest Thing I Have seen this week...Sarah Palin

Obama, Wolverine, and the Antichrist

On Sunday night I was all settled in to watch the fake debate (at Saddleback Ranch with Ricky Gervais or whoever) that the news channels had been broadcasting regarding the religious perspectives of McCain and Obama. I caught most of Obama's portion of the forum before I had to interrupt viewing to...sin, I won't get specific. Every time I watch Obama speak I'm holding my breath, its like watching someone on a tight rope, but that's how it always is when you have someone that represents your people addressing hot button concerns. And with all this talk about him being evil the ante is upped because now stupid people think the fate of the souls of the world depends upon it. I was preparing myself to write a post about all of it but I suppose I'll save the fire for next time. Or possibly for a real debate.

However the debate isn't exactly what I wanted to discuss this afternoon. I want to talk about some of the more ignorant and logically tenuous elements of politics. I should begin by saying that the ecosystem of my social environment is fragile. This means that most of the people I talk to on a regular basis have opinions that run somewhere along the spectrum of my own. So this guy I know somehow went and infiltrated that ecosystem and we begin having this pseudo - political conversation. I began with my own factually unfounded (but probably true) accusation that Bush has Illuminati- like influence over the oil industry and can be blamed for these crippling gas prices. No, I don't completely know what I'm talking about and I'll accept that I could be wrong but that's just one of my conspiracy moments, all great thinkers have them.

So then this reggin (word to Stephen Colbert) goes and says that he has a bad feeling about Obama because he just came out of nowhere. I attempt to stop him right there, because "he just came out of nowhere" is almost 98% of the time a preface to the accusation that Barack Obama is the Antichrist, and I think that hearing that kind of craziness come out of the mouth of an educated, young, black male would be too much for me to take. I'm all for open minded discussions and fuckery of sorts though so I let him speak his mind and as I suspected he believes that theres a reasonable possibility that Obama is the Antichrist (this young man also voted for Bush in '04, not based on policy, but on the sketches a Bush impersonator, whom he mistook for the President, does on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.*smh*). I thought he would direct me to several of the youtube videos one might stumble across if one happened to type in obama + antichrist in the search engine. But instead I got a treat. Apparently more support for the argument that Obama's popularity represents the end of days comes from our friends at Marvel and my favorite 90's childhood cartoon of all times: X-Men!



X-Men: The Animated Series -Time Fugitives (Part 2)
The episode synopsis is such that some mysterious techno virus is wiping out humans, everyone thinks its the mutants fault of course, and Cable and Bishop travel back and forth in time to either kill whose responsible and find an antidote, blah blah blah, nerd nerd nerd. The point is at around the 5:50 mark a mysterious leader makes an appearance and he bares a vague resemblance to the light skinneded incumbent, and then before u know it..dun Dun DUNN...Apocalypse is upon us!! I feel like this 'proof' is no stronger than any of the other things that are being thrown around the internets so I toss this into the ring as well. Also who doesn't miss this show! I won't lie, when framed in all this context it gave me the creeps but then i realized I'm not a freakin idiot like my homeboy.