Monday, January 19, 2009

Na na na na


Goodbye Mr. Bush
Bush goes away from the White House... Tell him goodbye YOUR WAY (throwing boots, eggs, daisies or candies) This is a multi-highscore and cumulative-score game!

I'm not gonna lie...even I feel bad for this guy. BUT ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME!! Get in yo' choppa and GTFOH!
I think this game is a positive way to blow off some steam, and hey, maybe if the shoe thrower would've had this game he wouldn't have acted an ass (awesomely) and done what he none did. Lemme know your high score and object of choice.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


I went to the theatre last night to see the Biggie biopic 'Notorious'. I know I could have peeped a bootleg of it like a week ago but as schmaltzy as it sounds I figured if I was gonna watch this flick at all it was going to have to be in a crowd so that the added benefit of the community experience might make up for whatever the film lacks (and I thought it would lack a lot). A part of me wanted to go to a late showing of this in the hood but that same part of me didn't want to get shot in the name of authenticity and as of the New Year I had deleted most of my hood affiliates and tour guides from my phonebook. In reality I still wouldn't feel safe unless me and Clint Eastwood rolled up on the block in his Gran Torino so I don't even know what I was thinking about with that. I actually ended up in a showing in the 'burbs where my friend and I had to show I.D. to signify that we were 'guardians' to some underaged niglets and accompany them into the theatre just so they could see the film. I scoffed at all the extra regulations but, a half hour into the movie I and most of the audience felt like we weren't old enough to be watching what we were watching either. All I'll say is Naturi Naughton was really puttin her all into that role....and that she got some tittays on her. BTW I am not especially opposed to nudity on film but this movie made me realize that there's something really eerie about watching some porno on a big screen in a room full of strangers.

To get the complaints out of the way, its pretty plain that Diddy had his hands on this film a little too much. Almost every profound thing Big says and does in this film was inspired by, or was a suggestion from Puffy (Derek Luke). He, Voletta (Angela Bassett), and Faith Evans (Antonique Smith) appear to have no flaws and I'm sure their live counterparts working behind the scenes with the director had more than a little bit to do with that. However, that's probably for the best because it helps us focus on the main character's performance. Jamal Woolard does a great job as Biggie, encompassing the laidback bravado that we all grew up with as well as the vulnerabilities that we suspected but never really got to see. And despite my complaints about Puff's onscreen fairy godmother status Luke does surprisingly well in translating the fun and obnoxiousness of Sean Combs without channeling too much of the actual Sean Combs. I'm thankful for this because the approximations of Puffy's silly ass dances are amusing but an authentic level of Diddy realism would surely force me from the theatre.

The roles that stole the show were Smith as Faith Evans and Naughton who played a nuanced and interesting Lil' Kim. I heard that Kim wasn't consulted for her portroyal in the film but her story is pretty compelling despite or possibly because of her absence behind the scenes, otherwise she might've gotten the boring saint treatment that the other characters got. Anthony Mackie as Tupac was creating a problem for me and his being cast is one of the films bigger flaws in my opinion. He's a decent actor but he wasn't channeling Pac in a way that made me go 'Oh snap. that's Pac!' which is really what these characters are supposed to do. Not to mention the way minds work, certain actors among certain environments invoke distracting memories. For instance while watching the 2Pac scenes my brain goes: rap movie + Anthonie Mackie = 8 Mile, and now every time he appears on screen I hear 'Now everybody from the 313 get ya motherfckn hands up and follow me!' He wasn't terrible or anything, and when he remembers to bug his eyes out he almost has you fooled but they should've went with an unknown on that one.
The director also decided to go with ambiguity and neutrality with regards to the details of Biggie's death. I agree that for the type of film this is (celebratory rather than expository) that was probably the best decision. But the vagueness of it made for some bizarre dialogue.

Actual Scene
*phone rings*
Biggie: Hello
Caller: Hey Nigga, you gon leave out here with a fuckin toetag on'. We gon fuckin kill you.
Biggie: Yo. who the fuck is this?
Caller: West Coast, nigga!
*dial tone*

What? Really? The 'West Coast' killed Big? Alright, whatever..moving on.

Going into it with generic to low expectations I was pleasantly surprised. It's a good movie. The cast really got into their roles and save a few exceptions it did what it was supposed to do. Tell B.I.G.'s story? Nah. I don't even think that's what it was supposed to do. You don't learn anything about Christopher Wallace that you didn't already know or presume, which in the grand scheme of things isn't all that much. But there's something emotionally satisfying about seeing glimpses of the stories behind the people who made the music you loved because it plays to your nostalgia. They could have included Kim getting an abortion after getting pregnant with Biggies child but who wants to think about depressing shit like that? We wanna recite the lyrics to the songs we can't help but know the lyrics to and feel proud of our generation for supporting an artist even in death to similar levels of iconic prestige that other generations support and mythologize their heroes (Elvis, anyone?). I'll admit that a really interesting biopic would be an authentic one, telling the sides of the story that we haven't heard or haven't heard enough of and cutting away the bullshit but I would rather see that as a documentary than a feature film. This film reminds me of a (possibly imaginary) time when we were young and rap was something you hid from your parents while you obsessed over it with your friends and older siblings. It reminds you of a time when hip hop was something you really cared about, when you were young enough to think all of the era's rap gossip and drama was really important and how you felt when you sadly realized it kind of was. Seeing it in a sold out theatre in a suburb also makes you realize how many people from all kinds of backgrounds cared about all of that stuff the same way you did. It is by no means perfect but when you hear 'Hypnotize' boom through theatre speakers at the final scene of the movie you must admit it did what it was supposed to do. In apreciation, we as an audience greeted the credits with a round of applause for the movie, for hip hop and for B.I.G. and I for one thought that was pretty dope.

Some Ad Nonsense

Skittles: Reflect The Rainbow

Here's something that you may not have known about me (or cared) but I enjoy advertisements. This is one of my new favorite ones. A white guy is at a Thai tailor getting his suit fitted. It's some alternate reality (as all skittles commercials are) where instead of your own reflection men of various races and ethnicity's mimic your every move in the reflection of the mirror. In this case there's a black guy a Mexican guy and a Filipino guy. The Black guy and the Mexican are both doing their jobs (Oh ho!) but the Filipino guy notices some skittles in his jacket and starts to eat them instead of reflecting the non skittles eating white guy. The white guy complains about it to the tailor who begins to chew this Filipino guy out. Dude gets pissed and kicks in his own reflection as a way of saying 'fuck you, I quit!' I like this ad more the more I watch it, because in it's way the whole reflect the rainbow theme is somehow a nod to diversity (why should your reflection be white too, can't you give that job to a Mexican? Welcome to post-racial America!) But it's also insane in a way that I really enjoy. I liked it even before I knew what the hell they were saying but a little research clarified that their conversation was as follows:

Tailor : Hey, Don't eat while you're working
Filipino guy: But i'm hungry
Tailor: No eating at work, you lazy bum!
Filipino guy: I'm hungry so I'm gonna eat
*insane asian arguing and swearing*
Filipino guy: Motherfucker, I'll do what I want
*kicks glass - mirror shatters - I laugh my ass off*

The craziest commercials come out of Thailand. Here's another one that I really liked. It reminded me of all the island ghost stories I used to hear when I was younger.

Sylvania Light Bulb Ad

Sunday, January 11, 2009

2009 Golden Globes

Well, i'm sure you have noticed this but I have been M.I.A. for a while. My bad. Just to force myself back into the swing of posting my thoughts i'm going to attempt to liveblog the Golden Globes. Wish me luck

8:01 - J.Lo comes out..mic malfuntion already.
8:02 - J.Lo's makeup is pretty good, nice and clean but idk about the rest of her dress, maybe I need a better look
8:03 - got a better look. No ty.
8:04 - Kate Winslet wins, she looks good, and i like her for some reason..hmm. But she's talkin to long already
8:06 - Sting? Why with the grizzly beard? And yet maintains glimpses of the does he do that?
8:08 - JERSEY STAND UP! Haha, yeah I had to claim a regional victory today after the Giants lost...womp womp wooomp. :(
8:09 - Clint Eastwood will take you out back and beat you with a stick
8:10 - I love that Bruce and his wife have matching noses and that he called her strong. I love that type of shit, like really love.
8:14 - Simon Baker is still sexy. Remember Something New? That was the official 'let's investigate this swirl thing' movie.
8: 15 - Awwe look at Tom Wilkinson not knowin when to wave. Awwe and he wins.
8: 17 - I love Tom Wilkinson. Wtf was that? hahaha He forgot everyones name, like 'wutevs, Thanks, but I didn't ask you wankers to pick me'
8:25 - My heart just broke. Sexy ass Don Cheadle is in 'Hotel For Dogs'? Why does he look like that. Like a pirate, with the two earings.
8:27 - Eva Mendez is dumb sexy, especially tonite. That jewelry! swoon, and she's all about la well it's not my Raza but cultural empowerment is always a good thing to me
8:29 - Zac Efron doesn't do it for me but this is the most masculine I've seen him..ever. i thought it was Jared Leto
8:30 - 'Not here to talk Trek'..then why are y'all here, who are you guys?
8:31 - Awwe Anna Paquin wins it. Yay! She's like one of the few actresses that looks like a regular person, it's refreshing to me. I still dunno if i'm feelin the blonde though..
8:37 - "thats the last time I have sex with 200 middle aged journalists' O h Ricky Gervais
8:39 - Jonas Brothers?? I will never understand. Is that how everyone felt about NSYNC back when I and other teenyboppers was all on their nuts?
8:42 - Johnny Depp has on his pervert scraggle moustache again. I do not like it. And he looks tired. :(
8:46 - Wheres Savion Glover? or Sandman Simms, they need to hire them to come out w the cane and drag folks off stage.
8:52 - Jakey Gyllenhaal presents a Benjamin Button commercial
8:53 - Drew Barrymore and Sharon Stone? giggle like fools
8:54 - "Ants can't even understand what a giant's talkin about!'. look at Diddy tryna look humble. sweet.
8:57 - Tom Cruise blathers like an insane person. My bad Hanks, Tom Hanks woww
8:57 - Cute moment with Demi and Rumer, who actually doesnt look frightening tonite
8:59 - Heath Ledger *tear*
9:05 - *sigh* I'm starting to tire of this. Yayyy Frost/Nixon...w00t....
9:06 - Thank you Colin Farell, that was a stupid thing for them to ask you to say. And you actually look clean tinite, double kudos. Also kudos for tryna play it off like you don't do coke no more.
9:22 - Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock, thats a dope show. Awwe his daughter's name is Ireland. That's cute, and ghetto. Whites are not exempt.
9:28 - S. Epatha is sellin pens?
9:28 - Cot Damn! Wtf is goin on w Renee Zellweger? SWhe almost never looks good but tonight she looks like she flapped out of a cave.
9:30 - It's Baby Wipes!
9:32 - Paul Giammati is such a little hobbit. EEw did you see Marc Antony creepily rubbin down J.Lo's shoulders? Jeepers
9:34 - That 30 Rock episode was too funny
9:36 - LMAO at Tracy Morgan announcing himself as the representative for 30 Rock and the face of post-racial America, then proceeding to embarass all of us immensly. You have my heart.
9:47 - Ugly Betty looks really nice tonight.
9:53 - Lol at this commercial trying to sell me on this Spielberg show about multiple personalities...
9:54 - SMH at this other commercial trying to get me to buy lotto tickets
9:58 - w00t The Color Purple, Amistad...its dawning on me that I should have been high tonight.
10:13 - Now ole girl w Dustin Hoffman looks alright. Their schtic is this Slumdog Millionnaire is stealin the show
10:16 - Sigourney Weaver is doin her thing for giant women, I like it.
10:18 - Grr at the award show for not showing Javier Barden
10:21 - "Curiousity is love, it's Ignorance's nemesis" an excerpt from Colin Farell's artsy fartsy poetic stream of consciousness speech
10:27 - Mmmm Selma Hayek, Viva Mexico
10:36 - This Indian actress is gorgeous.
10:37 - Cameron Diaz and Mark Wahlberg....they are bothering me.
10:40 - I never seen anyone so excited to win an award lmao awwe Kate
10:45 - ....This shit is still on!?
10:51 - I heard Mickey Rourke really wanted to win this one...and thas the last thing I heard about Mickey Rourke in some time
10:53 - WHOO 2 seconds of middle finger on national television!!
11:00 - AAAAAAND Were done! Whoo finally, I couldn't hang with it for much longer but i'm proud of myself for finishing, even though thas barely an accomplishment. The last couple minutes was a frenzy for the censors. Gooodnight everyone.

UPDATE: Highlight of the night. Tracy Morgan's 30 Rock Acceptance Speech