Friday, August 8, 2008

...Ask me what?

So I have friends (I know, I can't believe it either) who are daily frustrated by the wasted potential they sit across from (meaning me). So whilst I was bitching at one of my homegirls I demanded that if she wanted to see more from my blog shes going to have to co-author this shit so I can keep my momentum going. I told her to send me topics. She's a journalist so I thought she would send me news blurbs, current events, pop culture gossip, or helloo music related topics. After like a week of asking this broad emails me some 'Ask Annie' type shit and tells me to work with it. So I shall, for it is yet two hours till the raven crows to herald the end of my workday, and ye behold I am very bored. Lets see if I'm any good at this...

First Question

My boyfriend found my vibrator and now wants me to get rid of it. He says he doesn't see a point in me keeping it any longer since we've been exclusively dating for 8 months. I love him, but I love my vibrator too. I mean I barely use it, but I like to keep it around, ya know...just in case. Do you think he's overreacting or am I just being selfish?

My first question is are you even serious with this question? Like seriously, this question is like some Degrassi/ As Told by Ginger...ugh.. I'll answer it anyway, even though Katt Williams has answered it more eloquently than I ever could. If your man is worried about some bullshit like that, then I suggest you stop dealing with bitch ass niggas persons of various ethnic origins. What in the world is selfish about the ability to please yourself, if anything its generous because it gives him the opportunity to take the night off. If he's that paranoid about being able to please you then maybe he's not and if that's the case he better make sure you got batteries on hand because when that toy fails you may be tempted to see what the next dude is working with (Note: This website does not promote adultery...but it totally understands).

Jerry Springer 'Final Thought'
In reality, you can and you can't answer this question simply because you haven't explained why he doesn't like the vibrator, does he fear the competition? does he think that it means he's not doing his job? does he think that your 'just in case' rationale for keeping it signifies that you aren't very invested in the relationship and want to keep the device on hand in case you want to leave him? does he think its a sin for a young lady to own a portable pocket bust it baby?

Each of these questions prompts a different specific response but if you only wanna know whether you should ditch the vibe my answer is an emphatic 'Hell to the Naw' (mine are in a bulletproof safe). I just wanted to know the specifics so I could better explain to you how to tell this young gentleman to go fuck himself while you retain the right to do the same.

1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

...damn whoever this journalist friend of yours is...she sounds...well, BRILLIANT ; )